I hold a record on Tinder for swiping right the greatest number of girls without a match until that unlucky day. Yeah, my first Tinder date was the most awful experience. I am so dumb to call it my first Tinder date.
Since I had no match for first few weeks, I knew what exactly to do. I exaggerated about myself in bio, picked a cute stray dog and chose a parked car to take a nice rich selfie. It was a hell lot of work as I was tired so I slept after finishing my false identity.
BOOM! The very next day I had three girls in my inbox under 40Km radius- the trick works every time. I chose the most beautiful girl among them. She had a sexy selfie with her cute pet. I liked her dumbness. How could people possibly be inspired by Mr. Bean?
“Animal Lover, Adventurous and Weirdo. Mr. Bean, the only inspiration for the rest of my life.”
After a week of sleepless nights while texting her, she told me to fix a date. I preferred to go out on weekends as I used to think people were so busy on other days of a week. But I was about to change my belief after this date as she chose to meet me on the following Monday , how foolish! I thought people had a lot of work to do on Monday.
She told me to bring the fucking dog on our first date (the same dog I had uploaded selfie with on Tinder). Damn! I had to find the same dog in the street, but It was a very easy task. I knew every fucking dog would be around the new bitch in the town; so, I went into the park, looked around and found my buddy. Every stray dog stink terribly bad. I knew I had to explain him the seven habits of highly modest dogs 😂. The first step was to give him a nice name; Galaxy.
I brought Galaxy to my home and started training him. Galaxy was a pure stray dog. I had no idea about his breed, I googled all the breeds but with no favorable results. I told him to at least behave like a nice guy on my first date. I thought he was liking my service…haha
Monday:-
I wore a dark denim with boots, borrowed Rolex Submariner from my best friend and drove to the café in my dad’s car.
Oh! How could I possibly forget Galaxy at home?
I returned back, picked up galaxy and drove back to the café very near to our place. I waited for half an hour and there was nobody inside the café except silent workers (Monday Effect).
Finally, someone arrived in a classy E250 sedan. As she came closer to my table, I knew it was her with her nice white pet. The lady looked like in her late forties.
“Hello son, how are you?”
Wth!!!!!!
As I find myself in a complete shock, Galaxy was being enlightened to see the white bitch with the lady.
“What is your pet’s name?”
As I was reluctant to answer, the fucking dog barked at me for not introducing his name.
“ggg…gg….Galaxy…”
“Hey Galaxy! This is my baby, Lucy.” I am nowhere in the conversation.
Yes, this aunt had fixed a date for her pet, Lucy. I wanted to ask about education background of Miss. Lucy since I was impressed about the conversation I had for a week on Tinder. She told me to meet often as Lucy feel alone at home and she arranged this date for her baby.
I went back to home after the first Tinder date of my lovely pet. I hated when both of them were kissing and cuddling in a café. I had a nice conversation with an aunt at least she thought I was a nice son.
I asked my tinder date," How can you look so sexy in the picture?", and to this she replied," Next generation face filters, my son 👀."
P.S I hate face filters now.
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