Ah, needed this day. It was another sunshine day. Knew I had to get out and relax a little. I'm in more contact with people. Did a funny thing like added some people I missed seeing onto f.b. I feel I'm coming back to myself more, gravitating towards the more healthy social self. Used this down time to my advantage to just collect myself. Realized even if I felt isolated allot of the time I still didn't really have much time for myself. Now that it is getting warmer I can get out more to have some alone time.
Got a feeling where I felt I could get away from all the toxic social media, thoughts and all of this. I have had anxiety and sometimes get overwhelmed by stimulation. I've been traumatized in life even. I want some alone time. I just want to sit in the sun and shade and think. This warmer weather is doing me good. Getting a bit of an energy boost. I want to read and think more again. It is all good for inspiration for music and art too. The more great energy I can get and harness the better.
Ya and I think about the positive apocalypse or the apocalypse worth having. Never liked all the gloom and doom the sky is falling and humanity is a virus rag. I'd like to see a global shift and not by elitists and chauvinists. That's why the original idea for concept of the music project I created is still good - Massesect - kinda like thinking about how the collective behaviours work and how to get a common mindset for the good. To not just be subject to self doubt because of a false economic system that uses bully tactics to try to make you feel guilty for not buying their product to 'make your life better'.
I'm going to continue to process life and see what forms of expression I can push ahead and out there. Glad I can collect some thoughts here again. Gaining some conceptual ground of mind. Also feeling a bit more soul and emotion lately too! Still feeling the hunger for the fellowship of man on a large scale, also hunger for comradery on my personal level, to be able to connect with a few souls for more sweeter and connected times. I want to grow now and when the lockdown is over I really want to bloom and even feel some joy too.
