The things we see with friendships is that some of them lasts for a very long time while some other friendships ends before we know it.
It's interesting because you may end up being friends with someone you have known all along but never really had a talk with them until a certain stage in your life.
Just so you know, the friendship I'm exploring here doesn't necessarily have to be the type that exists between a guy and a lady. It's not a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I'm exploring friendship in its real sense and I look forward to having a nice discussion with you on this.
I gave this idea a good thought and one of the things I've noticed is that some of the friendships I've had have grown significantly over the last couple of years while some others couldn't grow beyond 'Hi' and 'Hello'.
Let's look at why there is a plus and minus pattern in our circle of friends.
In general sense, there are friends who we can talk to about our problems. These ones knows so much about us. And, there are others who are just there for when you want to go for a party or night club.
It's quite interesting that I want to touch on this side of the conversation because going to a night club or just going out for a drink is something that have never been part of me.
I'm never in a night club and the only thing that will take me to a pub is a football game. That's also rare because I prefer to watch the game in a focused viewing center where we just watch the game without necessarily getting a drink or stuff like that.
If you're the type that visit any of these places, you will most likely make a couple of friends in such places and you'll get to have more of them the more you spend time in places like that.
If you decide to stop visiting such places sometime in the future, you will notice a dip in the friendship circle you have from those areas. That dip was based on the choices you've made and the same thing is applicable in all aspects of our friendship circle.
Do you see my point?
The point I'm trying to make here is that as our life moves from one stage to another, our friendship circle also moves alongside it. The more you change, the more your friendship circle changes.
To make this more clear, take a moment to rewind your mind to the type of friends you had during your childhood and your high school days.
How many of them have you discussed with this month?
Probably a very few percentage of those. Yet, you were always with them back in the days. So, what changed?
The answer to that proves the fact that all friendships are usually formed because of a common interest which you have with the person. As you develop more interest in life, you will most likely lose interest in other things and that's also how you add and deduct people from your friends circle.
It is a clear example of the plus and minus we see in our circle of friends.
Is there a decision to be made here?
This is an important question and I will answer while using myself as a case study.
In the years I've spent growing up while making choices for myself, I've had some serious decisions to make about setting the trajectory of my life on a path that suits the future I want. This decision has led to making a conscious effort to remove some people's names from my friends list.
It's a tough decision. I know. But this has to be done to create room for growth in my life. It is also not the hardest decision to make especially when you think of the stagnancy that will eat your life up if you remain in the same boat amid 'friends' who are not rowing in the direction you want.
Other times, the breaks we see in friendships just takes a natural course.
Again, this happens because of differences in interest but the difference may not be harmful to the friendship. It just wouldn't allow each of you to flourish individually. When it's this way, without necessarily trying to break the friendship, both parties will see themselves doing their own thing.
The break in your friendship circle may also be due to a fault you have.
It's very important to note that some of the breaks in your friendship cycle may not have to do with any of the things I mentioned before. It may not have to do with your growth and development or some sort of conscious decision on your part.
You may be losing your friends because of your communication skills. Don't hate me too much if you are in their category, but the truth has to be said.
How good is your communication skill?
When you miss their calls, do you call them back?
When you get a text from your friend, do you reply to the text?
Remember, your friends know you and they know the job you do.
The observant ones knows when you are supposed to be free and when you are meant to be busy so if they send the text and you don't give them a reply, they surely know that this guy is single and you're not singing your baby to sleep.
If you do it habitually, the message you are conveying with that action is that you're fed up with the friendship and you don't want to hang out with them again.
Even if that's not the case and you happen to be someone that is just having communication issues, they will read their own meaning into it and you can't blame them for that.
There's a limit to what people can take and you may be thinking that your friends are supposed to accept you with all your dynamics but imagine yourself in that seemingly one-sided friendship.
If you don't work on your communication skill from the most basic things I highlighted above, you will sooner than later be dumped for good by your friends.
Don't Cry About It.
Thanks For Not Missing Any Full-stop Or Comma
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