Hello, everyone! How was your long weekend? I am pretty sure, you relished the time spent with special people. Well, here I am again sharing my thoughts.
Life is a balance of good days and bad days. It is up to the person to find that gladness during the bad days and to have great enjoyment during the good days. Hard fact is life will never be perfect and no matter how hard you try to make things flow as planned, there will always be days when you find it so difficult to get out of bed.
Life is uncomfortable and never fair. It hits you with tough situations and there is no other option but to muscle through them. Yes, it is easy to give up but when you have a family, you can be up against anything for them. I have had my shares of struggles and still do. My friends would often tell me that I seem okay and not a crease of wrinkle can testify what I am going through when they look at me. Believe me you wouldn’t wish to be in my place just to experience such torment. Besides, whatever happens to me belongs only to me and regardless of how difficult it is to swallow, I have to. Only then will it nurture me.
When my husband was diagnosed with End-stage renal failure three years ago, it never really sank in immediately. I was not the picture of a wife whose eyes were brimming with tears. I remained calm and very inquisitive as to what to do next. Perhaps I was on that state of condition as I am a health worker and I have gotten used to having sick people around. Don’t get me wrong, as months passed by, I started to feel so tired, helpless and overwhelmingly burn-out. I easily became agitated, irritable and gnashing one’s teeth can be quick and swift. It was as if the weight of the world has been placed on my shoulders and I was treading in deep waters all alone. At desperate times, it is easy to feel uncared for especially when the people you needed the most are not able to communicate and connect with you. And despite such pomposity, my situation has not changed even a bit. That was when I realized I had to do something. I was so caught up in looking at my losses that they eclipsed the advantages I have in life.
I stopped asking the usual “why me” question and tried so hard not to let my struggles weigh me down. It may be hard to trust that everything happens for a reason but I have to embrace it. If things won’t work out fine probably I will understand in due time. Most things will turn out okay but not everything will be. Yes, in the name of love, you will put up a good fight but there are times, you will lose. At times, much as you want to hold on really tight but you will realize there is no choice but to let it go. There is this small and quiet room in one corner which is just waiting for you. Acceptance.
I was not born with a pit-bull determination and just like anybody else, I am more vulnerable to various arrows of everyday pressure. But regardless of my current category, I have learned that having a different perspective and a growth mindset can take me the extra mile. That belief that defeat happens for me and not to me. No matter how painful obstacles, setbacks, and disappointments can be, I have to welcome them and look at them as opportunities for growth and learning.
Yes, I continue to grope and struggle. This too, shall pass. But I have become a beautiful mosaic with what I am going through and a remarkable work in progress.
My love to all women out there!
Till next post,
@lorelei.cortes
All content is mine unless otherwise stated.