Lessons I Learned From My Parents' Bankruptcy

For as long as I remember, I always got what I wanted. I grew up knowing that my parents were comfortable: we had a massive house with additional garages to store my dad's classic cars collection and dirt bikes, a factory, shops, several employees ,exotic pets, and frequent travel across the country. They provided me with the best education there was and made sure I grew up among the middle to upper class children. On top of that, our family had a decent reputation among the townspeople. But soon, it all turned to ashes.

The first one begin was when I was only 10 years old. I never really learned how it happened but we had to sell our first shop. All I heard was that there was a trouble with the supplier and my dad just wasn't fit to be a businessman. Managing people was simply not his forte.

During those hard time, my mom never told me that our family was going through a financial woes. I thought it was unique that my parents decided to use firewood to cook. As I grew up, I learned they couldn't afford buying the fuel. I thought it was very romantic that we dined in the balcony, like a picnic. It turned out, they were avoiding their family as we also lived in the house with my grandparents who owned quite successful business. My parents made sure I never heard a single word about financial difficulty and bankruptcy.

Photo by Melinda Gimpel on Unsplash

I was still able to get what I wanted but my mom made sure I had to earn it. She made sure I appreciate the value of a hard work. Hence why, as early as 10 years old, I had my first side hustle, I sold jello and pudding. I had several corner store and canteen where I would supply my jello and pudding that I usually made the night after I finished studying .During this financial difficulty, my mom had to use her baking skills to get by. She was a quite good baker and we had plenty customers especially during the festival season.

I was still able to live quite comfortably due to my grandparents help. They made sure my family was still well-fed, well-traveled and well-clothed.

As time passed by, my parents economy went better when we decided to sell the main shop after my grand parents passed away. My dad started a new business to which he call, his ultimate passion, renting cars. Somehow, my family did not doubt his idea of having a rent car service as he was really good with cars. Shortly, he purchased three cars and a classic car to add to his collection.

I was entering my first year of high school when this happened. I studied in international standard school and made friends with other rich children. I soon learned that there was more richer people in town. They traveled internationally, drove to school in a car, held cool parties. It was nothing like my middle school friends who are filled with humble people. I was relieved that I could resonate better with these people.

It did not last long.

My dad business was once again met trouble for the second time. This time, it was even more massive than the previous trouble. We had to sell everything; our cars, garage, bikes, everything we once owned. It felt like we were stripped naked. The friends that once close to our family rejected us. We soon isolated ourselves from the rest of the society that once we knew.

I developed a fear to loud sound as I often heard people coming to my house and knocked angrily. I developed a fear meeting with people. The tremendous change that I saw happening to my mom was she became more stoic. My parents became more devoted to pursue spiritual path while my dad tried. I grew up influenced by my mother, I sought consolation and help to god. I also started being active online and tried to find an online job. I was lucky to have a friend who was a developer that helped me secure my first contract. I felt like I found the light in the dark tunnel.

Then, it was the time for me to get into university. I was fortunate to secure myself in an ivy league university. But I knew life was going to be even harder. I spent pretty much my first year sleeping on the floor and fasted. Sometimes, I went to classes hungry. At first, I hardly made friends because I simply had no means to afford socialization. But that soon changed, I tried to find ways to earn more money. I sold snacks in my campus and applied to be a tutor. I was a bright student, full of vigor and curious. It was very easy to make connections and landed me a job. But after my accident, everything changed.

My parents were drowned in debt and finally declared Bankruptcy when I was 20 years old. My parents were soon separated and carried a heavy shame. The crisis made my mom work again in her 50's when she supposed to retire My dad left home and only visiting us when I came home. It made me re-evaluate my life choices where I spent pretty much of my 19-20 vagabonding and wasting my hard-earned money for fleeting moments. I am now soon to-be 23 with a lot more responsibilities ahead of me.

If you made it this far, thank you. The nuggets are here.

To sum up this story, I learned to :

1. Have a back up plan
   Entrepreneurship is not for everyone. No matter the hype, know that it is a risky game to play. Sure one time you can seem to have it all but it will go disappear just like that. So be fucking prepared. It's a difficult battle.

2. Never buy things in Credit
   Avoid credit at all cost if you can. Saving up and buying cash is much cheaper than credit.

3. Learn trade skills
   You never know if shit hits the fan. Always have a back up plan. back up skills, knowing that one misfortune is another opportunity to try other things

4. Be humble
   Being humble takes you places.

5. Take responsibility and don't fall into victimhood.
   Sure, it's hard at first but when there is a will, there is a way. Take responsibility of what happened and move on. Life is full of possibilities.

6. Live within your means
   This will be an important lesson and practice to make you a good money manager.

7. Avoid instant gratification
   Resonates with point number 2, it is better to save up than buying credit.

8. Keep your family close
   Make sure to check with them now and then. Life after declaring a bankruptcy is not an easy one and emotionally taxing too.

9. Find a way to clean all the remaining debt
   pay remaining debts and create ripple effects

10. Accept the fact and move on
    It is really a good practice to build a strong mental fortitude. As you will be looked down upon, it makes you wiser and learned some of human nature.

So much I have left out in this part. I could probably turn it into a small short book. But I am well-aware I am only so young that there would be a lot more experiences I will have in the future. So, I thought it's best for me to store this recollection here and check back in the next 5 years.