Due to the current protest against rape in my country (Nigeria), I chose to write about Marital rape which is mostly ignored when the fight against rape is talked about.
What is marital rape?
Marital rape or spousal rape is an act where a spouse forces sexual intercourse on their own spouse.
Many define it as an act in which a man forces sexual intercourse on his wife but I disagree with this definition as it supports the sentiment that a man cannot be raped by his wife or that a man cannot be raped in anyway which is not true as men can also be victims.
History of marital rape
Many traditions and even religions have refused to accept the fact that any sort of sexual intercourse between married people can be considered as rape, wether forcefully or not. This is usually common in cultures that accept the payment of bride price and believes a woman becomes her husband's property after the bride price is paid.
Many religions across the world also share the common belief that a husband owns his wife's body and vice versa which leads to the belief that one cannot refuse his/her spouse sexual intercourse and the partner is right to force his/her way to get the sex because of they have a right over their spouse's body.
It wasn't until the 1970's after the second wave of feminism and the start of anti-rape movement by the women's right group where women demanded to be given Sexual autonomy over their own bodies even within marriage.
As of 2019, marital rape has been criminalized and explicitly criminalized by 150 countries. However, there are still about 36 countries where marital rape is unrecognized and in countries like India, marital rape is only recognized in the cases of forced sex between a husband and a wife who is under the age of 16.
In what cases can sexual intercourse between spouses be considered as marital rape?
When it involves force, violence, threats, fear of bodily injury or menace.
When the victim is unconscious of the nature of the act, this include sleeping, being intoxicated or by the use of anaesthetic substances and these conditions where known by the accused.
Wether forced or not, any form of sexual intercourse between a man and an underaged wife(under the age of 18) should be considered as rape.
Marital rape as an act of violence
In many of the countries where marital rape has not been criminalized, a man can be persecuted for physically abusing his wife yet sexual violence is excused because of the belief that by the contract of marriage, a woman gives up the right to her own sexuality to her husband. Marital rape can cause as much harm to a person as any other form of domestic violence and cases of sexual assault and rape.
Marriage is not a constitution for rapists to choose a person to abuse for the rest of their lives, it should be filled with love, respect and understanding for your spouse.
CONSENT IS SEXY, SAY NO TO MARITAL RAPE!!