People can be socially impaired, but my condition is far from that. I mingle with people but maybe at a slower pace, the pandemic made it much more worse than before. I found myself in between a loner and an introvert, worst case is: I hate going out during the day. Reason is that I hate eye contacts and when people gawk at me, unfortunately I have this distinctive stature and work pose that you could spot yards away even in darkness. So a lady friend of mine jokingly said I have a Vampire's Syndrome. What the heck?
Is Vampire Syndrome even a word or a thing? Lol, that was me asking my friend who labeled me that, and she's goddamn right because I despise so much going out during the day. Even when my life depends on it, especially when it comes to grocery and market shopping, I could starve than running errands when the day is alive. Not that I am proud of this silly situation, but its one of those habits I didn't break till I attained maturity, so in my friends words; "maybe I'm a vampire and I react to sunlight ". Was she right?
Not really a syndrome, literally not a blood sucking Vamp who sucks bloods of virgins nor gets burned by sunlight, absolutely not any of that. Its just an indoor thing, having flare to go out in the night only and not in the day. Fact is, i react to the sun despite my skin colour and I can't fathom how i survived highschool especially in the boarding house, I literally begin to melt once I entered the mildest Sunshine and the sweating will never stop.
But a Vampire would know himself or herself right? Well, because I use to be very shy and I hate people staring at me, if you look at me too much I become unease and start sweating straight from my forehead down to my armpit, so as a grown adult, if I must go out on some days; I'm always with my sunshade and face cap. Maybe other people suffer from this, but when people stare at me I sweat unstoppingly, also I have a feeling, like a creeping sensation that there are eyes on me. Does that sound like a Vampire trait?
It sucks to be that shy, even in my adult years I still find it hard to mingle smoothly with strangers on some certain days, though some days comes that I am naturally friendly and somewhat chatty. Are there others like me? Or I'm just alone with this weird feeling or should I call it a disorder?