Aloha Hive-Family <3🤙
Considering the current circumstances on mother earth and within myself, I am now happily excited to share my experiences with you all. Let's exchange different kinds of ideas, worldviews and perceptions about what it means to be a human being and furthermore, living on this planet.
Me during my recent trip to Montenegro, Lake Skadar near Albania
My story begins in a small village in northern germany. I had always been a really high-energy and active kid back in the days. My enthusiasm towards ball related games in the kindergarden evolved to a more and more serious level in a short period of time. So it was not a big surprise that my parents enrolled me in the local soccer team when I was still at a very young age.
The degree to which I adopted this sport was immense. Within just a few weeks soccer emerged into a huge childhood and youth passion for me. Because of the persistend problems of not having a permanent goalkeeper in my age class, I decided to take up this role. For me personally it felt like I attained the perfect position in this sport. This feeling was getting more and more serious when my teammates encouraged me to keep this role, referring to my talent and skills.
A few years later when I was about to hit the age of 9 or 10 (I don't know the exact year) I was detected by a Talent scout. Shortly I received invitations to special training events for gifted adolescents. These events slowly occured to be more appealing for me overtime. The sensation of getting some kind of a next-level challenge enthralled me even more and the other training sessions in my local sport club moved out of my first priority.
Approximately at the same time my family took holiday trips to Denmark more frequently than usual. My parents always had been passionate windsurfers back then so my Dad showed me diverse techniques whenever we were on the beach. Although the holidays in Denmark were fun in general I couldn't really get along with this sport in the first place. Dry exercises on the beach didn't satisfy me at all and everytime I got back from the water my back, neck and hands hurt like crazy. However this pain slowly weared off when the first results showed up. I realized that this sport had way more to offer than back pain and cold weather. ;)
After many training sessions when I would reach a certain point of stability and speed I got hooked up with this activity immediately.
As the years went by I came to the conclusion that the most astonishing thing for me about surfing was not it's "coolness" or to be more precise it's aesthetic appearance, but rather that the activity itself symbolizes an energy dance. The interaction with oneself and mother nature. <3
Me at the Rinkoebing fjord, Denmark, where I mostly spent the holidays in my youth.
My time and passion on the water increased rapidly and so we decided to go on surftrips in Germany aswell. My time-schedule was getting to narrow, because of my new hobby, the issues at school and the soccer matches on the weekends. Unsurprisingly I couldn't motivate myself for the ball any longer. A big and heavy dissatisfaction rose within myself and I knew that I had to do something about it. 2 years later I came to the realization, that I had to drop out one sport in order to breathe more freely.
I finally made the fatefull decision to quit soccer once and for all when I was around 17 years old. From a retrospective point of view this might was the best decision I took in my teenage years in terms of future plans and proceedings...
Around this breaking point in my life (I suppose it must be the early sommer months of 2013 or 2014), I got introduced into Cannabis.
I instantly fall in LOVE with this substance.
Maybe it was just the right dose of "slowing down" at that time, maybe not, but regardless of that point the degree to which this plant laid down it's influence on me was enormous.
My behaviour changed...
I evolved into a calm, quiet and young pothead.
Gradually I spent more time in front of my PC or reading fantasy books when the weather forecast for windsurfing was not good enough.
I withdraw myself from some previous social circles; slowly but steady.
In addition to that my english evolved to a skill level that I was able to do some research on diverse topics which don't fit in the box of the modern western mainstream-narrative. My interest for the archaic tribes and their way of life, natural healing methods, spirituality, eastern oriented philosophical views and alternative media evolved to a certain degree of importance for myself . For the first time in my life I began to question myself, my behaviour, and my own thoughts and the culture that I was living in.
Cannabis has opened me up to the idea that there MUST be more about life than just school, university, a boring 9-5 job,family and having kids.
For the first time ever I had a glimpse of the myths and mysteries of this world. The capability to touch these oddities (may it only be first on a digital lvl) left me speechles. Day by day my participation in the ultimate stream of information on the internet grew to a more serious level of understanding.
I was heavily astonished about what I had found and not only astonished about the new information that I got, but maybe even more surprised about ... myself. Myself and the power of this spiritual plant, that removed so many obstacles in my way of thinking...
Despite all this new information which opened me up to many possibilities in life, I kinda got fed up with the teachings in school, unsurprisingly. It contradicted with many of my new views and perceptions and so I tried to stood everything with a robust sense of stoicism.
Roughly speaking Surfing, cannabis and the "alternative-hippie- way of life" became my signboard at school, somehow.
I embodied this style completely.
The dogmatic notion of my teachers "We are going to prepare you for the world outside" left me rather suspicious and anxious than sheltered and secured...
In addition, exchanging ideas with other pupils lead to irritation and misconceptions on their sides.
I felt misunderstood around my own peers at school.
My good grades that I had accomplished years earlier dropped down.
During this rather uncomfortable time, I was introduced to psychedelic culture and music by my older brother.
Regardless of the fact that we are 10 years apart, his influence on me in my childhood and youth can not be denied for sure. Even though we are biologically speaking "half-brothers", it wasn't a big deal for us. We are brothers and admired each other since day one and we are still a top notch dream team today ;)
Round about 6 or 7 years ago he handed me over this beautiful piece of art.
This Progressive-Trance Set might was the starting point towards a long journey in the psychedelic scene atleast for me.
There was something magical about this music and it enchanted me from the first minute on. 🕉🕉
A good friend of mine who I knew since the sixth grade was entering the psychedelic scene apparently at the same time when I did. We were hanging out pretty often after school, smoking pot and cruising on our longboards through our town waiting to be 18 years old to visit a Psy-Trance festival suitable to our musical taste and preferences.
According to the narration from my older brother he made life-changing experiences at the Ozora festival in Hungary. So we both decided to give it a shot! This Aftermovie really catches beautiful moments from this festival. I don't know how many times I watched it before I even attended this gathering...
I stopped counting after some time, but holy moly these emotional sequences and pictures are really agitating! <3
In my last months at school right before my A-level exams took place another very good friend of mine joined in to our plans. We had known each other since we were born, because our families were pretty close for decades. In this period of time our friendship generated into something special and we formed some kind of a magical Trio.
Although we were pretty kinda childish pre-celebrating our decisions and plans and helplessly trying not to obtain an unhealthy level of expectation ;), I received the information from my teachers that my passing-out ceremony in school would take place on the same date when we had to go on our spacey and long ride into the beautiful land of Hungary...
After being confronted with this issue I realized that I had to cancel this graduation ceremony, because I knew that the real magic this summer would happen somehow 1300km away from my home in the ozorian valley.
However my peers and teachers turned the attendance for being at that ceremony into a rather socially obligated thing and they critizised me harshly for my decision:
"How dare you!? This is your passing-out ceremony! Are you dumb? Don't throw it away this way!..."
... But no I didn't care. It was their celebration not mine. I was not interested in doing a weirdful dance for one evening that everyone would forget after some years anyway.
For the first time ever in my life I had the sensation that the importance of listening to your inner voice and giving a "healthy" fuck about the expectations that had been layed down on you through culture, peers, even parents, teachers and institutions is evolving towards a point of absolute certainty.
Claiming your rights as an individual is probably one of the most powerful things that you can do in your life.
One of the most helpful philosophers and thinkers in general who has helped me through tough times, was Terence Mckenna. His way of thinking inspired me in many ways and his talks always calmed me down when doubts and worries where coming up.
After barely passing my A-level exams in July 2016, our fateful trip to Hungary was about to start...
And the outcome was... ABSOLUTELY STUNNING!
Ozora festival mainfloor
It may sounds strange, but it felt like that my soul finally went home <3
Due to all these wonderful experiences I had there on this ground with all these lovely people I sensed that a missing whole in myself had been fixed, which I didn't really notice that it existed in the first place.
I made friends for life! <3
Little by little during that magical week I came up with the notion that life itself is a gift for us all and only by actually appreciating the moment of BEING HERE AT THIS PLANET and chanting your energy let's say through a dance could possibly solve A LOT that is going on right now on Earth.
Sounds like crazy-naive-hippie thinking yes I know :D BUT for me it seems to be absolutely true... What is more to be told is the fact that I LOVED all these people that were performing on stage. My admiration was getting to big and so I said to myself:
I DON'T CARE I AM GONNA TRY THIS!
After coming back to Germany I was light-hearted and careless like a child and so I became a DJ myself!
Me in the studio attaining one of our livestream seesions during the COVID-19 pandemic
It seemed that it was just the right pro-creative-active outlet for my being that I needed in my life so badly. Even though I was really glad about the fact that I had enough courage to try this stuff out I was still in doubt what I am going to do with the rest of my life. My interest in so many topics and fields generated into a deep long brooding about my next step...
What Now?
...Due to that issue that I was confronted with, my Dad offered me an apprenticeship at his company (I'll be forever grateful for this, thank you Dad <3). I had worked there several times in the christmas holidays so I knew what was heading towards me and although it didn't really appeared as a long-term solution for my problem, I accepted. Mostly, because of the sympathic colleagues, the resulting cheerful working atmosphere and the long-running products that my Dad was inventing.
I learned everything about finely drilling, milling and turning metals with all different kinds of machines and it was pretty hard but rewarding work. My affection for the final outcome of our products couldn't be denied and it somehow kept me going...
During that time a good friend of mine applied at my Dads company as a factory assistant.
He got the job and started working in the company.
I was pretty surprised meeting him there and even perpexled after he offered me his roommate-ship for the next years all of a sudden. I was constantly looking for roommates at that time but hadn't really been quite succesful yet, so I accepted his proposal.
And it worked! We instantly got a apartment 500m from the company at the first day of our search. We didn't even pay any attention to the structure of this one... to be honest we were just happy moving into our first apartment.
Oh boy! What a great time it was! We were constantly looking for girls, parties and gigs in our area.
... lovely period <3
Anyway, somehow towards the end of my apprenticeship I began to feel suspicious. On the one hand my life on the weekends looked bright and full of amusement, but on the other hand I had a sensation of drifting into a rat race. It felt like I was putting to much effort in something that doesn't really suited my needs and preferences, no matter how much I loved the products that the company was manufactoring or how likeable my colleagues were...
My deepest wish was to "work" like a freelancer in a more creative, artificial and self-contained way. Independently from the 9-5 life which I got myself into recently.
However, it took months for the wish to rise from within, up to the surface of my conscious mind.
The reason might be that my heavy-party-behaviour on the weekends resulted in a more and more leached-out body feeling. After my third Ozora Party in 2018 I was at around 65Kg bodyweight in comparison to 2,00m tallness. I FELT unhealthy and I knew that this had to change. So I got into fitness...
... one of the best decisions that I made for sure. After months passed I started to feel way more comfortable in my own skin. I noticed that not only my physique changed, somehow my mind got sharper and I was able to concentrate myself on one task way longer than before. Even when I was djing I recognized the confidence boost that I attained throughout my training sessions.
Right after my degree in CNC-Milling I told my dad that I had no ambitions whatsoever in adopting the leadership of his company and I clarified that I would leave soon in order to find my life's purpose.
He accepted with a deep level of understanding, for which I will be forever thankful <3
In February this year I finally managed to quit my job and currently I am kinda new-orienting my life.
At this point I wanna say thanks to the universe that it carried me this far until now and I am certain that I am going to find my mission in life in the following months and years... Beside that I am convinced that this beautiful platform with it's high qualities is going to help me and many other human beings in terms of bringing up new ideas for humanity <3
Thanks for reading <3
Sources:
facebook.com
All other images are taken from myself.