I want to cut the skin off of my body. I want to remove this sleeve. Urges of taking a knife and slowly peeling off my forearm have been on the forefront of my mind for so long. Soon I will be whole...
I was in Hamburg traveling when the lockdown hit. I decided to contact an uncle I barely knew to see if I could stay with him for a bit until things blow over. It turned into much longer than expected, as fear and panic of the unknown gripped the planet.
My uncle's house was in the countryside. It was a big three story house with a long driveway. The place was secluded and surrounded by trees. The trees shaded the lot, making it quite dark, even during a sunny day. I couldn't believe when I saw Bejazoot. I had named our band after him. I don't know how or why I knew his name, but it began to make sense when I saw the statue. It was a grey ceramic with a bird feeder on top, and the face of a demonic ram-looking devil on the side; Bejazoot's face. It was unsettling but welcoming.
My uncle Gustav wore a three piece suit, and looked like he was a man from the 1950s. His house was big, and full of all kinds of ancient trinkets, books on the occult, and mythological paintings and decorations. He had a switchblade he constantly played with, flicking it open and closed, practicing his dexterity with it.
It was nice and relaxing to be in the countryside and to get my mind off things, especially her, the one I had come to see. I had pinned all my hope on finding meaning with her, but all she gave me was rejection and a cold shoulder, and the usual bullshit of not wanting to make roots with me. As if I'm a fucking plant.
Before the lockdown I almost killed someone. I was having the urge to tie a rope around my neck and jump from a tree.
But why should I do that? I questioned myself.
My life had value. So I went out one night and punched some half-drunk person into a canal. I watched, feeling so alive, as they struggled... but alas, they eventually grabbed a ladder and began climbing out. I quickly left, feeling somewhat mixed over what had transpired. Was it something I should do again? The lockdown hit, so I had no opportunities for a while. I was just mulling over my static in the countryside.
"I've got some people coming over for a pagan ritual tonight" my uncle informed me.
It was something to do with Jupiter and the moon. Planetary alignments and all that nonsense.
I spent the evening playing my Saxophone "Deathwish" wishing death onto her. I named it "deathwish" over my own bubbling subconscious wish to die and be done with this world, but on a deeper level, it is because I wanted the power to take life. I wanted to kill. I needed to vent this bottled up static.
I had no intention of sitting in on the Pagan ritual, but when I saw Eva, there was just something there... she looked at me, and I looked back. It felt like I was being seen for the first time. Like in this one glance she knew me, the real me, and not the bullshit make believe.
I didn't say much to her. I just sneaked glances here and there. Everyone arriving was somber and quiet. Like they were attending a funeral. So it didn't feel appropriate to engage in conversation. There was about 15 people all together, aged from their 20s to 60s. They wore dark cloaks, somewhat hiding their faces. My uncle gave a spare cloak to me. It made me feel connected to something on a deeper level. Like I could feel blood pumping from beneath the floorboards.
My uncle Gustav served refreshments in the main living room. I assumed this is where the ritual would take place, but I was wrong. I was surprised to learn of an underground structure behind the house. It was almost completely out of sight. Hidden by overgrowth and bushes. My uncle led everyone out to the back. He opened up rusted metal doors from the earth. The wind was quiet, and the night was black. We followed him down into the cavern, holding candles for illumination. He lit candles outside of the altar room and praised Bejazoot before entering. Everyone else responded with "rise Bejazoot".
It was surreal being in a band named after Bejazoot and now attending a service towards him. Almost like I didn't have control, or was a part of something greater than I could comprehend.
I hesitated before entering as others walked passed me. The cavern system seemed big and vast. As I looked down the earthy tunnel all I saw was darkness. I felt like something was looking back.
"Are you scared?" Eva whispered into my ear.
I stood erect and entered the altar room.
It was large, dark, and musky and looked like an old church. On the altar was a misshapen devil looking ram skull... Bejazoot's head. I stood in the pews between strangers trying to eye what else was on the altar. The candle light barely gave visibility. It looked like a heart and other organs had been placed on the altar. When everyone finished gathering into the room they put on masks. They were demonic animal masks, made from skin and fur. I felt out of place having no mask. As if I was the faceless one.
They took out black books, and read from it. Some of it seemed like ramblings, other bits felt like prophecy of what this shit world had become. Several of them began to circle the altar, splashing blood from brass cups as they murmured incantations of some sort. At one point it felt like there was a lot more "people" in the altar room than before. There was definitely about 50 people in the room now. Some figures lurked in the shadows, almost inhuman looking.
"Now is the time!" my uncle announced.
Everyone hushed and placed their eyes on me. I gulped. Gustav grabbed me and brought me to the altar.
I didn't know what to expect, and felt like I should have been terrified, but I wasn't. It felt natural. I could see burning hot eyes looking at me from the darkness in the corners of the altar room. I was a king being crowned.
Someone led a ram into the altar room, and towards me. I knew it was Eva. Her mesmirising figure gave her away through the cloak. She passed the ram to my uncle as she gently pushed me onto the altar. She got on top of me and straddled me. She removed her demonic animal mask, as she began kissing me, and stroking my dick. I could feel one of Bejazoot's horns poking me in my back. As I tried to move to a more comfortable supine position, she pressed down on me, holding me, making the horn pierce my skin. She rolled up her cloak, pulled out my cock, and sat on me. She fucked me as the mass began to chant louder and louder. I looked at the ram beside me. It's face looked human, and it sounded like it was saying "help me! help me!"
As my eyes stared at the ram, and I saw a human looking back, Gustav used his switchblade to slice its throat. Eva began to vigorously hump me, as the goat, spurting blood, was lifted above us by a chain tied to its back leg via some mechanical contraption.
I was in complete ecstasy as the blood endlessly poured from the sacrificed animal onto us, like rain. I was being anointed in blood. The rest of the altar room broke out into an orgy, as blood started to drip from the ceiling across the whole of the altar room.
We fucked for what felt like hours, never coming, but always on the precipice. Eva licked and kissed me, never seeming satisfied, always wanting to consume me more. To give me pleasure.
When I came, the whole room went quiet. I looked around and everyone was standing in the pews, as if there hadn't been an animalistic masked orgy just taking place. Eva slipped my cock out of her, put her mask back on, and then rolled down her robe, before rejoining the others in the pews. There was only about 15 people again.
Gustav grabbed my hand and pulled me up. My back was a bit sore from where the rams horn had been poking me. I looked to see that I hadn't broken the thing, but it wasn't there anymore. Instead their was a Bejazoot mask. It was my mask. I put it on and the candles went out.
I could hear nothing but heavy breathing from sort of animal approaching me. It sounded like a bull.
As it breathed onto my face the candle lights lit up again, and the cult members all sighed with relief and joy. There was no animal to be seen. Even the dead ram that had been hanging above the altar was gone.
I felt confused over exactly what had happened, as we left the altar room. The cavern extended down further, and I had to know what was lurking down there. But not today. I went outside with everyone who had now removed their masks. Some elders of the cult told me I did great, and could see big things on the horizon for me. Somehow only fifteen minutes had passed from when we first entered the cavern, despite it feeling like it should be morning by now.
Eva took me aside, and indoors up to my room. She sucked my cock, and told me she was mine forever. That I should stay with the cult, and learn more about it. I told her I had a life elsewhere. That I was in a band, and had friends to get back to. It all felt like a lie though.
She told me about the next cult meeting in August. A black moon ceremony, and that I would have to make a choice between worlds.
She was gone in the morning, but we spent the night fucking, and I could feel myself changing.
Chapter 1 - Deathwish
Chapter 2 - Screaming with No Mouth
Chapter 3 - Nazi Babe with a Cute Smile
Chapter 4 - The End of the World
Chapter 5 - The Dead Streets
Chapter 666 - So I Flipped the Board
@RiskDebonair
Irish Writer, Poet, & Agent of H.I.V.E.