I got asked an interesting question today from my supervisor:
Has my condition affected my humor?
Yes.
Weirdly, they weren't asking in the hope my humor has improved, it was more that they actually finds me funny apparently. What was also strange, is that this question came up in a triage meeting between myself, supervisor and workplace doctor, which is organized to help support the transition back into work, something that can be very difficult in many ways.
I am lucky in this area thankfully, as the company I am working for has given me the support, space and the promise of time - but it was good that my supervisor heard it from the doctor too, as well as the reminder that recovery is counted in months, not weeks. It is hard for people to really understand that while I am relatively normal in casual conversation, I am on mental crutches when dealing in more complex tasks. This can make it feel like I am shirking work, which hasn't been a problem so far, but in a couple months from now?
So, back to the humor.
It has affected me in quite a profound way, as before I was able to interject smartass comments that are borderline inappropriate with ease, walking the fine line between what is acceptable and what is not - making people laugh, but then catching themselves and feeling a bit uncomfortable about having laughed.
Now though, I find it far harder to hear the cues, generate a response and deliver it in a timely manner, so it doesn't flow as it should. And in regards to humor, timing is everything, which means that I end up holding my words back where prior, I would have had no qualms in releasing them into the wild, come what may.
Normally, I don't have to think too much about the consequences of what I say in the office office, because I was naturally able to walk that edge, but now it worries me a little that I will cross over and fall into the abyss of bad taste and poor social skill that shifts from funny to just rude. Some people seem to think that rude is funny, but anyone can be vulgar, it doesn't take intelligence.
There is a grace in humor that is able to soften the worst blows life delivers and make people feel better about their predicaments faced, not worse. Humor allows us to turn our perspective on hardship, disconnect and laugh at it, giving us the space and energy to move on with other tasks, rather than be consumed. There is an immense difference between laughing about someone's ailment and being mean, something that a lot of people online who troll do not understand - they look to inflict pain and the laughter is one-sided, with those enjoying the show sadists via proxy - Schadenfeude.
I don't take pleasure in watching people get humiliated, unless they are the people who intentionally try to humiliate others and then they complain about the way they are being treated. There are quite a few of those types here who think they are clever because a small group of people clap them on the back and spur them on. It is always interesting to note that the people like this who claim it is innocent fun, are invariably anonymous.
But, I think the reason that my supervisor asks about this is that in our team, we have an eclectic range of people skills and personalities and to wrangle them together takes a fair amount of social glue. I am not the most technically skilled in the team, but when it comes to developing the atmosphere, lightening moods or shifting toward more important topics, I have excelled using humor to indirectly change course. This has high team value, as well as a big part of the reason that I tend to be a pretty decent trainer, regardless of lacking technical skills.
What I found interesting about the enquiry personally, is prior to being asked, I hadn't thought much about it, other than noticing the technical difficulties I was having with it. I hadn't thought how my "lack of humor" is affecting other people and that in my week back with limited exposure, it had already been noted as a potential pain-point.
As I have said many times about building an account on Hive, personality matters and it is no different in my workplace. When I was hired, I was hired primarily for my personality and training ability, with my limited technical skills and knowledge being a non-issue as they can be learned. Personality however is very hard to change significantly and authentically - though a stroke makes it easier.
What is "funny" is that I have no idea what is funny and that is probably why it ends up being humorous in the first place, as it is natural and based on circumstances of the moment, making it personal for all involved.
I guess you had to be there.
Taraz
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