As a kid whenever we have family gatherings, everyone is assigned a role to perform which includes washing dishes, cleaning of the surroundings and cooking. Majority of the lower tasks are assigned to the kids and we do it joyfully. After the whole cooking is done, the foods are shared and Not that I'm not satisfied with what I was given but yet I kept on thinking why the adult meals are so huge. I mean we did all the work but that did not get us the lion share of the meal.
After the whole merriment of the family gathering is done, they gather in twos and threes for a meeting. During this stage kids are told to go and play outside, I was never a fan of this idea. Like I have always said, I was born curious, I always wondering what was so important that it can't be discussed in front of the kids. Probably I was the only one with this mindset, other kids are just happy to have the privilege to play till they feel worn out.
Playing all around was fun but I always wanted to know what it felt like to be an adult. Whenever I find myself doing things beyond my age, especially when it comes to saving up to buy something or try to be independent. My dad would always ask me to wait for my time, I remember him telling me many times to enjoy the privileges of being a child but that always sounds unfair to me. I felt like why must the adult have the ability to choose whatever they want and we don't have the same privilege.
I just wanted to have some control over my life, never been a fan of my choices being dictated to me. You must have guessed, I was stubborn as hell as a kid and I was fragile. I was really curious about a lot of stuff that adults could do. For instance, As a kid I was really terrified of darkness, you can't lock me up in a room except to you want to find me fainted the next day. I once shared a story of my days in boarding school.
There was a time in the hostel, there was a black out. It is something that happens regularly, being the kind of person that is scared of darkness, I try as much as possible not to move around when it is dark but on this particular day I was thirsty I just had to summon the courage and tip toe to the tap. The moment I was done Taking the water I needed, I looked back and saw this huge figure standing behind me, I didn't bother taking a second look I just ran. Unlucky for me, I miscalculated the entrance to my bay and I ran into a wall. I passed out immediately, it was when I woke up that I realised it was my shadow.
Anytime I tell my dad about this things his reply was always the same, "When you become an adult little things such as this won't scare you anymore". Seeing how everything is attached to adulthood I was really in for it, just want to grow up as fast as possible. It happened and now I wish I could be a kid once again. I joined the family meetings at the age of 16, it was a bit early but everyone knew how eager I was to become an adult 😅. As time goes on I realised most things they talk about in the family gathering were sensitive subject a child wouldn't be able to comprehend and whenever the meeting is over they usually contribute a specific sum of money but I had none. Sometimes I do but I always feel "why do I need to drop this amount of money". The money contributed is usually used to take care of those in the family that are struggling with their finances.
That was how I began to understand what being an adult means little by little which is all about responsibility. Being a kid, you don't really need to think about being responsible because whatever you do most times is usually categorised as you just doing what kids do but being an adult means you don't have a choice but to be responsible. With responsibility comes a huge burden of getting things done, I can't remember the last time I collected money from my parents for clothing and other personal stuff. Sometimes I wonder how exactly did we get here, you guys used to be the one taking care of all this things.
Taking of things comes with having a source of income, making money and all, you know how that feels to be solely responsible for your affairs. The consequences of my actions are fully mine, I don't get to just act reckless and believe everything will be fine. Though I'm stronger than I used to be, I mean I'm no longer scared of my own shadow 😂 but then the responsibility of being an adult sometimes becomes too burdensome and overwhelming especially in the this time of financial crisis.
This write-up was inspired by weekly engagement prompt titled "Adulthood" in hive learners community.
Cover image - 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗏𝖺
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