I wish I really do have the will power to erase this hurtful memories off my mind I would, each day I wish it never happened I wished I had taken a different route instead I wish I had done something else, I wish that my path had never collide with that of wicked men, but then the scare is always there a constant bitter reminder of that faithful day when it all happens.....
Just this morning a friend of mine looked at my wrist and asked me what happened to me, been a while someone asked me that, reminds me of my act of foolishness, now having to live with this scare all my life, trust me it's hurt to constantly be reminded of the past, not only does the image lives with you but its visible it's always there, even tho I forget just like this morning it's refreshed...
Life will always go on you can't possibly become your own prisoner of the past, set your self free, free from the guilt, the shame, the reproach the hurt, regrets upon regrets won't heal you instead hurt more and more...
These were words of encouragement I have to constantly remind myself of how fortunate I am to still be alive, ofcourse during those times I've heard several stories of how some of the victims were shot dead and still the deed was done, so could imagine myself lying in a pool of blood unconsciously watching life slip away from me, but hey #IamAlive.
Tho the scare reminds me of that faithful day on my way to the office, while I was headed to the office got rubbed early in the morning the aftermath of that incident left a big cut in my wrist, that ended up with me in the theatre for operation cause the cut was so severe we needed a specialist to come carry out the operation, the cut had affected my tendons, vain and others...
There is no blame in the world I didn't pour on myself, regrets upon regrets till I finally have to forgive myself and heal from inside of the hurt and guilt, some bitter memories are better not relived.....