Life comes in different shades and colors, so much we constantly evolve with it trying so hard to fit in with the trend of things, this changes are very necessary doing a way with old things and trying to grow into something more profound, realistic, relevant and appreciated.
Right from when I was a child I've always had this mindset of perfection, I always tried to do all my stuff right and well so much that I know my dad was really proud of me, I knew i was his favorite, for some reasons I can't lie and so if there was an issue I would be the one to be asked for the real truth.
Years later I went on to live with an aunt of mine, few months down the line I realise that my personality did not go well , I felt manipulated often, my aunt was very verbally abusive with words, nothing was good enough in her sight tho I tried everything possible on my path to not be shouted at that didn't stop....
For the record I'm a very quiet type I Rarely talk and after all the shouting I'll just bow my head out, go somewhere quiet and this hurtful words will somehow start coming to me....
When did you stop apologizing to yourself
I always feel bad and wish I could do better putting in much effort, trying to please and do things right, but no, it was like everyday the expectations were high and there was no way I could ever reach it, not until one faithful day ..
What led to the shift
This day i was at the shop were I help out to sale stuffs and my aunt had return from the market and found out something wasn't right, while I have tried to fix it gone all out to find it and couldn't, my aunt returned didn't find out about what I have done, just started shouting and yelling at me ...the momentum was building up and really I could bare it, for the first time in raised my voice at my aunt,.spoke out with so much vexation and very angry 6ears were already coming out of my eyes ... she didn't say anything sat there looking at me.
From that day a lot changed in me, even tho I still try to maintain my cool and be humane in everything I did l, but after that day I felt I've found my voice...
How did it affect Your confidence, relationship and sense of Freedom
My confidence built up from there, I felt like a bullied kid who have all of a sudden find his voice and can now face those who bullied him square to the face and fight back, tho I wasn't proud or arrogant, I just learnt to speak up and have the mid of my own in certain matters....