Growing up, I lived with my mum, and I can honestly say I didn’t go through any serious hardship. My parents weren’t rich, but I always had what I needed—good education, food, a roof over my head, and a lot of love. So when people say children have to suffer to understand life, I don’t really agree. I didn’t suffer, yet I’ve grown to understand life in my own way. But at the same time, there were certain things missing in my upbringing that I wouldn't want my children to experience.
One thing I deeply wished for was a present father figure. I’m the last born, and I stayed with my mum all my life, so naturally, I picked up a lot from her. If you meet me, you’ll probably say I behave like her—and you wouldn’t be wrong. She did an amazing job raising me, but there’s only so much one parent can do. There are certain things I believe a father should teach a child—especially a son. Things about manhood, responsibility, emotional control, strength, and protection. These are lessons I had to figure out on my own or from watching others, and I think life could have been easier if I had a dad around to guide me directly.
One powerful thing I learned from my mum, though, is how to express emotions. She’s the type that doesn’t bottle things up. If something is bothering her, she talks about it—or even cries if that’s what she needs to do. I grew up seeing that, and it rubbed off on me. I’m not ashamed to cry when I feel overwhelmed. I’ve learned that crying doesn’t make you weak. In fact, it’s helped me release pain and feel better afterwards.
Society tends to shame boys for crying, acting like they should be made of stone. But I want my children—especially my sons—to know that it’s okay to feel things. Emotions aren’t a sign of weakness; they’re a part of being human.
So, when I think about how I would love to raise my children someday, I know for sure that I want to do it in a two-parent household. I believe that’s one of the best gifts you can give a child is growing up with both parents present, playing their roles, and providing a balanced home. I don’t want my children to experience the same thing I felt growing up without a father around.
And no, I don’t believe that hardship is the only way for a child to learn or grow wise. Struggles are not the only teachers in life. I believe in intentional parenting—giving your kids the best education, showing them love, setting healthy boundaries, and teaching them discipline. I also believe that by limiting certain luxuries or not always giving in to their wants, they can still learn the value of things without having to “suffer.”
In the end, i think it’s all about balance. I want my children to have a soft life, yes, but not one that leaves them ignorant or dependent. I want them to be emotionally aware, disciplined, responsible, and above all, raised with love from both parents. That’s the kind of upbringing I dream of giving them.
Thanks for reading.