Life brings a lot of memories. Some are sweet and stay with us forever. Others are painful, and no matter how long it has passed, they still hurt like they just happened yesterday. If I had the power to erase one memory from my life, it would be the moment my dad took me to court for a DNA test.
I grew up with just my mum. My dad left some months after I was born, so I didn’t grow up with him around. To be honest, I never really felt his absence because my mum did everything she could for us to survive. She worked hard and gave me love, care, and everything she could afford. So I didn’t really sit down thinking too much about my dad. I just lived my life and focused on the people who were present.
The first time I ever saw him was at a family party when I was about 11 years old. I remember him giving me ₦1000 that day. That’s all I can really say about the moment because there was no real father-son connection or anything special. He was just like any other stranger at the party, and after that day, life continued like nothing happened.
Years later, something happened that shook me. He decided to finally divorce my mum officially after so many years of being separated. That wasn’t even the painful part. What really broke me was that he took me to court and demanded a DNA test. That moment changed a lot in me.
Imagine being taken to court by someone you’re supposed to call your father — someone who already abandoned you — and now he’s saying he’s not even sure if you’re his child. I was just there, confused and angry. My mum was very worried too. She kept thinking about how people would look at her, how they might call me a bastard, and all the shame that could come with that.
Deep down, I was wishing the test would come out negative. I didn’t even want him to be my father anymore. Someone who didn’t raise me, didn’t care for me, didn’t even try to know me — and now he had the guts to question my identity? I didn’t want to be tied to someone like that.
But the result came out, and I was truly his biological son. That moment brought a different kind of pain. Not just because of the test, but because it confirmed that he had treated me badly all these years, thinking I wasn’t his child and had to wait until i was 19 to confirm that. Even after the result, nothing changed. There was no apology, no fatherly love, nothing.
Till today, whenever I think about it, it annoys me and brings back sadness. I sometimes wish he never came back into my life. I was doing fine without him. That whole court experience, the test— I would erase that memory if I could. Not because I want to forget who I am, but because that experience still hurts, and i sometimes wish he had just stayed gone.
Thanks for reading.