There was this time in my life, then, I so much believe my mother hatred me, and I ain't even joking. I call and see it as hatred. Every Saturday morning, at exactly 5:30am, she would just fling the door open without a knock and shout my name as if she was calling into the spirit realm. And guess what, she wasn't calling me for morning devotions, or to come and eat, she's calling me to come clean.
Again, it's not your regular/casual kind of cleaning, washing and sweeping o, I’m talking about scrubbing the floor on your kneels, washing and scrubbing the toilet as if it was a rug, I do pack both the used and unused plates and wash.....thats the routine every Saturday, I clean the house on every other day, but on weekends, it's more than just cleaning. Sometimes I would just look at other kids as I see them enjoying, I hesr them giggle as they watch cartoons in their pajamas and ask myself, “GOD, why me?”
There was a particular day I summoned courage to talk to her, "Mummy, why is it always me, am I the only child you gave birth to?” She looked me in the eye and said, “Beni, loni o, neni... meaning...Yes o, at least for today, it's only you."* That day, I knew within myself that peace and rest was never for me in that house day. If I didn't sweep well, she would come by to show me, she do drag her bare feet on the floor to check for dirt and direct me back, I’d just drag my feet back, murmuring under my breath, she would go to the kitchen and inspect the slab, and the dishes one after the other to check for stains and all.....My mum enh ...
Back then, I just gave it my all and did it all, and I also swore that when I finally grew up, I would never touch a broom, talkess of a sponge or even a mop. I would just say I have done all of that in the past, not anymore. But guess what, now even as a young adult, I can’t sleep if my room is dirty or disarranged. I clean my room, my toilet and everywhere as if I was expecting a visitor. Even when I was in school, my neighbor's would be like, Toyosi, when you are not a girl. I would just look at them and smile.... I would arrange my colored throw pillows, fold my clothes neatly and hang some.
There are times I still hear her voice in my head saying, “Come back here, clean it well. And before I know it, I’m back to checking it all if maybe I had done a good job or not. And believe you me, it wasn’t just about chores. She instilled values in me, if I didn't greet or did not say thank you to someone, my mum would embarrass me and say, “Is that how I trained you, can't you say thank you?” Even when am not in the mood or feel like it, she won't stop reminding me that anywhere I find myself, I am representing the family.
Then, I thought she was wicked. But now, I very well understand that she was preparing me. She was preparing me for life, she was preparing me to be responsible and accountable, and she was preparing me for adulthood.
These days when I visit friends and find them struggling to clean their room when I show up unexpectedly, I just smile. I'm grateful to the woman gave birth to me, I'm grateful for the early morning wakeups, I'm grateful for all that she instilled in me. She didn't hate me, she loved me and I'm happy I turned out better for it.
All pictures are mine.
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