Sometimes I sit alone and remember my childhood the good, the bad, and the downright confusing. I remember times I cried myself to sleep, not because I was hungry, but because I didn’t understand why life had to be that hard. As a young boy, I used to say to myself, “My children will never go through this.” But now as a man, though still single and without kids, my mindset has shifted. Not completely, but enough to understand that some struggles are not just necessary, they are shaping tools.
I’m not going to lie; growing up wasn’t smooth. There were days we ate rice without stew and called it “white celebration.” Days when my school sandals had more stitches than the tailor’s shop. I’ve fetched water from wells, walked long distances to school, and even sold sachet water after school hours to support my parents. At the time, it felt like punishment. But now, looking back, I realize it taught me value, value for money, value for time, and most importantly, value for people.
As someone who hopes to become a father one day, I know I won’t let my children go through everything I went through. Some things were just unnecessary hardship caused by poverty and lack of information. But at the same time, I also don’t want to raise them too soft. Life is not soft. Life doesn’t pamper anyone. So why should I?
There are things I’ll definitely remove from the picture when I become a parent. For example, I won’t let my kids grow up in an environment where love is not shown. I want them to know I’m proud of them, not just when they do well, but because they are mine. I won’t shout at them unnecessarily or beat them out of frustration. I will listen. I will teach. I will guide.
However, I also believe in discipline and exposure to real life. My kids will do chores. They will wash plates, sweep the house, and even learn how to cook early. I don’t care if you’re a boy or girl, everyone will learn how to handle the home. I will teach them how to manage money from a young age, how to speak up, how to say no, and how to survive without depending on anyone. I don’t want to raise entitled children. I want to raise strong, kind, and wise individuals.
I want my future children to be better than me , not just in comfort but in character. They will have better shoes, yes. But they will still walk some hard roads so they can build strong legs. They will have gadgets and the best education I can afford, but I will also teach them the value of hard work, honesty, and humility.
In summary, I’m not looking to repeat the painful cycle I went through. But I also won’t erase every struggle. Some hardships build, while others break. I want to help them avoid the ones that break and allow the ones that build.
Until then, I’m still learning. Still growing. And every lesson life teaches me today, I’m storing it somewhere in my heart not just for me, but for the children I’ll one day raise.
image is Ai generated
