Building resilience.......often seeing as developing the ability to bounce from challenges, adapting to changes and navigating uncertainty....and that's where my Growth Journey starts from.
Growth isn't something we can feel but it's something we can see happening rapidly and beyond our expectations.
I didn't believed that I was growing until one incident that happened that took me all but I had to stand up since Growths also involves accepting ones reality.
Thus,this week prompt is basically about Growth so I do love to share how far growth has happened to me.
I've always been considered as one who can't handle a single thing while growing up although they may not be wrong because someone like me don't like stress or too much of sending on errands,so everyone will always think of how I can it in this life and to survive alone and not like I am lazy but don't just like stress or too burden.
But life gave me another side I never dreamt of or ever expected to witness.
It really hit me so hard,coming from a home mother was the breadwinner was never easy while growing up but mum never gave up.
It hits me so hard when I came back from one of the school holidays to home,my mum was really sick,went to different hospitals but was said it's something that needs operation and she have been living with it even before bearing childrens but my mum never speak about that before.....my life turning around... reality coming in place.
The operation went successfully but after the following day at around noon time,my Mum couldn't bear with the pains she was going through again and gave up.....I was more than shattered...I thought it was just a prank from school holiday to losing my mum,my heroine,my only sponsor in my education,she was the person carrying all the family loads including the father as well and I had a little brother who was just in primary school and it was just the two of us who survived,which made my mum to say she will take us any level of Education but now I was just in my Second year,first semester.
I cried and weep bitterly and told her this was never part of our plans and how will I survive it without her in my life.....I longed seeing her again.
I put all my savings just to make sure it went successfully because she was my everything but it was never enough,Used money entrusted in my hand as the course rep to add up but it didn't go any where still had to sell land to make sure the money was completed because it was major Operation.But we lost her,I went with her and came back alone.
I sober and went into depression because so many thoughts was going through my mind....how will start from? I gave all but I still loses all? How will we cope especially since the bone back was gone,it didn't give me out only for tears to be running down.
How will my younger brother cope without her in our lives,he was still in primary school and still have a very long way to go and how about me.....I didn't know what to do again.
After the burial, everyone went back to their various homes and continue with their normal activities.
I was left with facing the little bro and my Dad, someone who was never there for us but now death has done more than a harm to me.
I became fearful of not knowing what my fate may become again since the school sponsor was gone,I thought about dropping since I can't do it all alone, including sponsoring my younger brother also even our feeding also my dad's own it was really a very big havock that took place because I have never ever become someone peoples will always look towards to in getting help because I haven't even help myself.
After two weeks of staying at home,I had to return back to school because life has to go on and I was left with no option because the Legacy my mum was through to create through me can't die just like that as well because she place as top priority more than her health.
I was heart broken but I have to keep pushing.
Meanwhile, after my little brother completed his primary school,he joined me at the Campus to start his secondary school over there.
The load was really too much on me because my brother can eat a lot and he came with many responsibility including registering him at the new school.
Therefore,I had to accept my fate on how I sees it,I started from scratch again because I lost all then.
My hands never failed because I started most of the things everyone thought I can't handle.....the stress was never any thing again to speak of,my lap,I usual use it to do school projects for my fellow students also printing of flex for those who wants my work some times I will always stays awake till midnight especially if it's an urgent to give my best to it,my mother had a place she was working for before as a rep in a judiciary court,so after the passing away of my mother they made me to maintain that position as way of helping me out,so whenever there's a case to handle,my presence was always needed.
I was also supporting my father at home because he still stands to be my sole responsibility.
Everyone was always surprised about how far I picked myself up to match the stormy weather because looking at how fragile I used to be,no one will say I can do it including my self,that's was when I came to realize a saying that says when life left you with no choice you have to found your strength and build it in something.... something more extraordinary.
It surprises me on how far I have gone today because I never thought I can ever do it until I remembers that growth isn't just about the age but also how mature one acts towards any situation you found oneself.
Today,am in the final year of my school and will be signing out this week and my brother will be going to Junior class 3 after school resumption that is when I came to believe that at the end of the tunnel there comes light, hope and everything good and perfect if only one can't give up.
Learning to accept life whichever way we sees it,that is where the real growth starts from.
Thanks everyone for reading my post.
All pictures are my own.