When raising children, I firmly believe that parents should adopt a guiding approach rather than imposing their will. By providing support, encouragement, and gentle nudges, parents can empower their kids to discover their own paths and make informed decisions about their lives. This approach allows children to grow into independent individuals with their own passions and interests.
Reflecting on my own upbringing, I'm determined to create a different experience for my kids. I want them to have more freedom to explore, learn, and grow in a way that fosters their unique perspectives and strengths.
Growing up, I felt like I was living in a democracy... of one. My parents ruled with an iron fist, and I was just a tiny, insignificant citizen trying to survive. No freedom of expression, no right to choose, once your parent say yes then it must be yes and once they say no then it must be no.
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But here's the thing: I want to do better for my own kids. I want them to have the freedom to be themselves, to chase their dreams, and to make their own mistakes (because, let's face it, that's where the real learning happens). I don't want them to feel like they're living in a dictatorship, where the ruler's word is law, and dissent is not tolerated.
Take my friend, the would-be artist who's stuck in a medical degree. It's like forcing a fish to climb a tree and wondering why it's not thriving. He's got passion, creativity, and talent oozing out of every pore, but his parents are like, "Nope, be a doctor like Daddy!"
I mean, what's the logic behind that? Does he smell like disinfectant? Does he have a secret love for anatomy?
Just because Daddy is a doctor then he's son must be a doctor leaving his dreams, talent and passion aside.
Parents should prioritize understanding their child's strengths and passions, allowing them to pursue a path that's truly fulfilling.
Personally, music was my everything growing up. I vividly remember jotting down song lyrics and composing music in my personal notebook, envisioning a future as a renowned Christian musician. I was passionate about music, and it brought me so much joy.
Guess what? life took a different turn, and I ended up pursuing a career that had nothing to do with music. It's still hard to accept that my passion was stifled instead of nurtured. I was discouraged from pursuing music, and instead of encouragement, I received criticism. Over time, my confidence dwindled, and I became too shy to share my gift with others. It's heartbreaking to think about the potential I lost, and the music that will forever remain unheard.
So, to all the parents out there, please hear me out: your kids are not mini-mes, they're not your chance to relive your dreams or fix your regrets. They're tiny humans with their own thoughts, feelings, and aspirations. Guide them with love, support their passions, and let them make their own choices. Trust me, they'll thank you for it. And if they don't, well, at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you tried.
Let's break the cycle of parental dictatorship and give our kids the freedom to thrive. Let's be the parents who empower, rather than the ones who suffocate. Our kids' futures depend on it.