A lot of people believe that every journey begins with a step but my journey of life started when I could barely stand on my feet.
Tough love
As the first child, you would expect that I would be showered with love and pampered by every living thing that crossed the same path with me but that was never my case.
Don't get me wrong; I received a mouthful of love from my parents but they mostly came as tough love. My mum is a high-profile disciplinarian but she was also caring and it is visible in her actions while my Dad is a member of one of the major paramilitary organisation in Nigeria.
They poured out a lot of tough love on me and any slight mistake on my part usually leads to a series of disciplinary action that ranges from hot slap, spanking and other mild military drills.
The result of this tough love
They achieved their aim because I grew with dignity, honesty, sincerity and a lot of other positive qualities that you can think of but it also affected my personality.
Every drop of courage and self-esteem that I was blessed with by my creator was being sapped by my parents all in the name of discipline. I became nurtured into timidity.
This timidity walked with me in every step that I took to the extent that;
I neither asked nor answered questions in the classroom
I kept a clean distance from my peers
I tried as much as possible to avoid chit-chat with my parents especially my Dad.
I don't dine with my dad and I find it very hard to stay in the same place as him.
I never had that experience of adding extra zero to my fees because he asks for all evidence of payment and I am happy that he did because it made me very transparent, accountable, and contented with what I have.
A Big Blow
Every story has a turning point and l experienced mine in the last week of November 2018. It was graduation time and a lot of people have already started preparing their plate and cutlery.
My colleagues and well-wishers were ready to get a mouthful of what Val (that's me🧑🏾) would be dishing out as a way of celebrating his graduation from the University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus as a Banker and Financier.
The graduation list was released but my name was nowhere to be found on the list.
I sank into my world and became mute with disbelief. It was a very big blow to everything that l stood for but the biggest blow came when l imagined what my parents would feel.
I didn't mince words with those that were coming to celebrate the supposed graduation with me. I just told them that I would be having an extra year.
My full-stop was replaced with a comma
I battled with my timidity for three weeks before making up my mind to pass the message across to my parents. I travelled back and called for a meeting with my parents and my younger siblings to give them the breaking news. I gave my speech and wrapped it up with a full-stop.
My Dad cleaned the full-stop and replaced it with a comma. He sounded very different; caring and loving (not the usual tough love).
I would have been more relaxed if they expressed their disappointment and displeasure but they did the opposite. My failure gave me a different perception of my parents.
Note: I had an extra year of study because of a missing script in a course that l wrote in my penultimate year. It couldn't be rectified because non-academic staffs were on nationwide strike so, it led to an extra year of study.
I Rebelled
It is a very normal thing for anyone that had this experience to hide from the school environment till when it is time to reseat for the course. That was not the case for me because I moved back to school and I started working within the town.
I used the whole of 2019 to unlearn a lot of things and relearn new ones. I worked on my personality and successfully rebelled against my timidity, low self-esteem, and my ill-fated perception towards my Dad.
I'm no longer getting younger but l'm already enjoying this new version of me - "the outspoken gentleman".
l believe that this method of training was used on me because my parents were just starting life and they wanted to do their best towards nurturing us so, they learned from the result of this trial and error.
It has Its good and bad effect but I'm happy that they changed it on the long run so, they have a modern-day parent-child relationship with my other siblings.
THANKS FOR NOT MISSING ANY FULL-STOP OR COMMA
Crossposted from my blogpage