Yesterday being Thursday, our exam finally came to an end after spending a whole three weeks on this, and honestly, it feels like a heavy load has been taken off my shoulders. You can't believe how excited I am.. Again,I’m just here thinking about, everything we went through these past few weeks such as the stress, the reading, the all night preps, the panic when the timetable changed suddenly that Monday morning, the moments when sleep wasn’t even an option, everything. All I can say is that It wasn’t easy at all.
But somehow I thank God we made it to the finish line. It’s funny how time flies. Just the other day, some of my classmates and I were talking about “ this exam month,” and now it is finally over. I'll tell you for free that some of my papers were okay, some were tough too, like so tough that I almost wanted to cry inside the hall. I could remember what happened when I wrote my clinical education, how I was confused at first when I saw the questions. I had to think for some minutes before I attempting the question. Yet I didn’t give up. We showed up for every paper, even when our minds and bodies were tired.
Happy now that the exams are over, you should expect us to feel fully relaxed, but that is not really the case. This is actually another kind of tension, the kind that comes when you are waiting for results. And the truth is, no matter how confident you are, there’s still this little voice that keeps reminding you, “Hope you did well enough.” like the fear of the unknown, but I am trying to be strong because I need to be this strong.
Even as I write this, I know our results could come out tomorrow and just the thought make my heart beat fast. But even in the middle of this my anxiety, I’m choosing to remain calm. I have decided to leave it in God’s hands since I have done my part. I know I read, I wrote, I stayed up at night, I made sacrifices, and I prayed. So now, I’m trusting God to complete what I started.
Believe me, Sometimes, I just close my eyes and whispers, “God, please let us all pass.” Not just me, I’m also talking about my classmates, my friends, even the ones I don’t really talk to often. Because We all worked hard. We all had our own battles. Some were sick during the exams period, some were dealing with personal issues, some had family problems, and still, they didn’t give up. I believe we all deserve to pass.
I am also learning something important during this waiting period. I'm teaching myself how to be patient and trustful. There’s no use worrying about what I can’t change now. If I keep thinking about every answer I wrote and every question I wasn’t sure of, I’ll just wear myself out. So instead of worrying, I’m focusing on faith. Even if it’s just small like a mustard seed, I’m holding onto it tightly.
This whole journey and now waiting,has taught me things I didn’t even expect.. It taught me how to stay strong when things get tough. And most of all, it taught me how to depend on God and not just on my own ability.
Whatever happens, we’ll face it with courage. But I’m really hopeful. I believe strongly that by God’s grace, we’ll all pass, and we’ll have reason to smile soon.
Thanks for reading. Let’s keep supporting and lifting up prayers. I believe that victory is around the corner.