Hello everyone, I apologize for being away for this long. Maybe it is fate that I decided to make my very first post (besides my introductory post) when this topic is being discussed.
What is Apology?
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Research shows that the original meaning of the word apology stems from the Latin word apologia which is derived from the Greek prefixes "apo" (away from), and "logia"(speech). Originally this word was used as an oral or written defense or justifications of ones actions.
An apology is also an expression of regret for an action. This is only possible when one has admitted his/her wrong doings.
To admit one's wrong doings takes courage. It is easier to give in to pride and give excuses and justifications for one's actions. It takes courage and strength to admit that what one has said or done is wrong. Most times when people apologize, they do so to "fulfill all righteousness" and when this is done, the power of an apology is not felt. Heart felt apologies sort of connect in a way to the receiver. I lack a better way to explain this phenomenon, you just know when the apology you receive is heartfelt or not.
What is Forgiveness?
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My favorite definition of the term is: To pardon (someone); to waive any negative feeling towards or desire for punishment or retribution against.
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. To forgive someone in my opinion requires more strength than is needed in tendering an apology hence the popular saying "to err is human, to forgive divine".
It is important to note that forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting the offence or harm that has been caused by the offender. It is choosing to let go of all forms of resentments and plans of retaliation or plans to carry out retributions.
Also forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. Sometimes forgiving someone and cutting off the person might be the right thing to do.
Why is it important to apologize or forgive?
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The power of apologies and forgiveness is seen in their ability to grant PEACE. In the case of apologies, they give peace to both the offender and at times the offended party. It is important to remember that tendering an apology does not equal receiving forgiveness. Apologies like balm, soothes a vexed mind and makes the offended party to become calm. Sometimes the pain and hurt might not be easily abated by an apology. Apologies should not be expressed only in words but also actions.
Forgiveness grants PEACE mainly to the "giver" (offended party). Research has shown that people who forgive are more satisfied with their lives and tend to have less depression, anxiety, stress, anger and hostility. Furthermore all religions teach about the importance of forgiveness. Forgiveness should be given regardless of whether an apology has been tendered or not.
In conclusion, it is important to note that sometimes an offence could be so grave that saying sorry might not be enough. However this should not prevent us from saying sorry and apologizing not just with words but also showing remorse through our actions. Forgiveness causes healing to both the offended party and the offender. If we all learn to apologize to each other and forgive one another, the world will be a better place for us all, as we would experience less conflicts, thereby leading to a more peaceful world.
Thanks for reading. Hope to see you all again soon.