Hey guys, meet Gloria Ebere Chukwuebuka, a student studying literatures in English in Nasarawa State University (Nsuk) Nigeria. She is an Igbo lady. Her father is an Igbo man and a police officer who lived in my area, bought a land and built in my area in nasarawa state Nigeria for a period of 25yrs and got married to my tribal woman, an Eggon woman, Mrs Esther Chukwuebuka. Don't worry about me posting Gloria pictures here, I've asked for her permission first and she said I can post her pictures on my write-up as long as I don't used bàd, insúlting or abusive words against her and I gave her my word I will never do such a thing.
Gloria and I were classmates from JSS2 second term when she got transferred newly to my school till SS3, in Government Secondary School Nasarawa Eggon.
We were very close friends and in SS1 I developed feelings for her. You know as a little boy or a teenager then I wasn't sure what or how love is and I don't know how to express myself to a lady. It wasn't funny at the beginning but I had to gather the courage to tell her how I felt about her. I asked few friends of mine and got some toasting lyrics.
It sounds funny right? haha 🤣 🤣 🤣
Back then android phone wasn't much available for us to Google, to research or to know some new inventions, to connect on social media like Facebook, Whatsapp to chat or call ourselves. We normally used to write letters. Even though we don't really know much about love then but we will write letter expressing our feelings not minding the spelling errors or correct way of writing letters. I wrote a letter to her and send it through her friend asking her to be my girlfriend and if she's interested she should meet me in the football's court during game period on Wednesday.
She came and we talked all through the game period while other students were playing games. I remembered buying her sugarcane and pure water because she told me she was thirsty. And finaly she agreed to be my girlfriend in SS3 after a lot of trials last semester while we were preparing for our West Africa Examination Council (WAEC) and National Examination Council (NECO). I passed my WAEC and NECO, register jamb and applied for university of Jos.
Gloria register jamb too and applied for nasarawa state university because her mother's relation lives in keffi. Do you know what happened after ? I failed jamb but passed my WAEC and NECO. Gloria passed all her exams including jamb and got admission into nasarawa state university keffi.
She went to university while I was at home doing nothing. Don't forget, we were still in a relationship even after we graduated from the secondary school.
The following year I registered jamb and still failed. I couldn't get the cutoff marks for the course Medical Laboratory Science I wanted to study in the university of Jos.
By this time Gloria was already in her 200L in nasarawa state university .One faithful day, she asked me for 5 thousand naira that she needed to fill her gas and I said I don't have money. Another time she asked for 2 thousand naira to buy Maggi I wasn't having money at that moment. That was the beginning of her sudden changed of attitude 😢😢.
She doesn't call me anymore and even if I called, she won't pick that she's in the lectures or busy. During the Ramadan Mubarak holiday she came home. I was told she came home because she didn't told me she's coming home. I visited her and bought her sugarcane and tiger nut which in Hausa, a northern language in Nigeria the tiger nut is called Aya. I remembered during our secondary school days she could eat it and never gets tired of it. That was her favorite then but now I never knew things changed. Reaching their house she saw me and tight her face looking like someone that's not happy seeing me. I went to their house and luckily her parents were not at home. She said we could stay outside and talk. Literally she doesn't want me to enter their parlor I thought within myself. We sat down and talked for some minutes and I remembered asking her about her school, lectures and how is life in University. Her responses shocked me and almost make me shear tears. She said, have I ever been to university or had an experienced going from one hall to another for lectures that am asking her how is university life and lectures? I kept mute for some minutes and asked her why is she talking like that? Her answers amazed me the more.
She said she can't want a boyfriend that hasn't been to university or broke boyfriend that couldn't afford money for his girlfriend gas or maggi. Her words hurt right? Yea, it hurts me so badly that I couldn't said a word for some time seating there with her. Later I brought out the sugarcane and tiger nut I bought for her but she said she doesn't want it. That she's not longer in secondary school to be eating this junks. I felt so ashamed that I was looking straight to her eyes not knowing when the bag I was holding the sugarcane and tiger nut felt down from my hand. What even got me more angry was this last question she asked me. " CAN YOU AFFORD ME"? she further explained her question. Can I buy her the kind of clothes, hair, shoes and bags she need as a 200L University student? Not to talk about giving her pocket money to be refilling her gas and other little expensive that she can't border her parents as other boyfriend does for their girlfriend. That she's not longer interested in the relationship. I should go and look for someone at my level or class when am still battling with jamb.
It hurt me so bad hearing all this words from a lady we've been together since JSS2 as best friends and 3 years after graduating from secondary school. I left their house and went straight home. On my way going home I began to think and remembered all the things we talked about while we were in secondary school days, the food I bought for her during break time, trekking from my house to their house about 7 kilometers just to see her before going to football field.
Youths normally used to play football in the evening by 4pm in a community field that's behind their house.
I kept thinking about it, I realized and learned a lot of lessons....
I will share few of the lessons I've learned with you guys.
- Lack of money can affect a relationship even if both partners loves each other. Love alone without money is not enough to keep a relationships.
- Having a woman who has gone ahead of you as a man in academy system or more intelligent than you can also affect your relationship
- A woman that's earning more or collecting salary more than you as a man can also affect a relationship because what she brings to the table is more than what you bring to the house as a man
- If a woman is taking more of the responsibility in the house affairs than you as a man can also affect your relationship.
Please note this, any woman that see herself as a material or an item for a man to purchased or afford will never be committed to that man if the man cannot afford the things she wants or doesn't have enough money.
But recently, precisely last year October after so many years of not seeing Gloria, we bounced at each other in amazement at Living Faith Church Goshen, for a single and marriage relationships forum and after a few minutes of greetings and talking and laughing we decided to take a shot. We parted ways in peace not having any grudging or malice with each other over what happened some years ago. We both forgive each other and never gives room to our past to interfer with our present lives.
I hope you've learn lessons about my experienced about my failed long time relationship.