Change is something we all face at different points in life, and with it comes the realization that there are parts of ourselves we wish we could improve. For me, if there’s one thing I’d truly love to change about myself, it would be my confidence. I have always admired people who seem naturally bold and self-assured, but when I look at myself, I feel like I’m far from that. Sure, there are moments where I feel comfortable and can hold my own, especially in familiar settings or around people I know well. But put me in an unfamiliar situation or under any sort of spotlight, and everything changes—I will just shrink, overthink, and doubt myself to the point where I sometimes just give up.
There’s one particular memory that still bothers me when I think about it. It was during my recent I.T defense at school. I already prepared well and was infact the last person that was called up to talk. I just wanted to get it right, to impress my classmates and my teachers, and to prove to myself that I could do it. But when my turn came, I was just somehow scared and short of words and all that i had practice and prepared for seemed to vanish. I stood there, feeling the weight of all those eyes on me, and instead of delivering my part confidently, i just fumbled and was just asked by my teachers to wrap it up.
That moment actually broke me. My teachers marked me down a bit for that, and while i kind of expected it, the real disappointment came from within. I knew I had the ability to do better, but I let my lack of confidence hold me back. It wasn’t just about the marks—it was about the missed opportunity to show what I was capable of. That day made me realize just how much I needed to work on this part of myself.
As a guy, I often feel like there’s this unspoken expectation to always be bold, assertive, and ready to tackle anything life throws at you. But I don’t always feel that way. Instead, I find myself overthinking, questioning my abilities, and even avoiding situations that I fear might put me on the spot. It’s frustrating because deep down, I know I can do better. I know I’m capable, but it feels like my mind gets in the way when it matters most.
If I could change this about myself, I think my life would look so different. I imagine being able to walk into any room with my head held high, unafraid of judgment or failure. I see myself speaking up when I have something to say, taking on different challenges without hesitation, and embracing opportunities instead of letting them slip by because of fear.
I’m actually determined to work on this. I know it won’t be easy, but the idea of finally becoming the confident, bold person I want to be is worth it. And hopefully someday, when I face situations that used to terrify me, i will look back and just be proud of how far I’ve come.