I love reading. As a child, nothing excited me more than books. Nothing. The feeling everytime i got a new book cannot be described. When i was in primary school, the bookseller who sold beside my school kmew me so well, he gave me discounts. Back then, I'd use whatever cash-gift, even lunch money that I received to buy books. It was my addiction. They had special place in my heart. Memories about my childhood are mostly about me, sitting by the windowside or under the harsh ,white, bulb reading. I didn't care about games and playing with my peers. And I read a lot. I read everything. Anything.
I miss that period in my life when reading books consumed my life. That was special.
I miss how much of that person i used to be, the girl who gets lost in a book, and just transported in the world of whatever she's reading that nothing else around her mattered. Books bettered me. I miss what that felt like. I need to start reading again.
I don't know what happened but I guess
internet and social media made it harder; and I'm not putting the blame on nothing but myself.
Last year, I got to reading a certain book that made me pissed and disgusted and had me feeling stupid and after it, I couldn't bring myself to reading another one. No matter how many books I picked up, I couldn't get myself to sit through it. I felt I needed a break. Maybe I was experiencing the block, I had thought. And after weeks from my books, I couldn't trace my way back. It was like 'reading lost me.' Same me who would have consumed over twenty books(even more) in so little time. Me who ised to finish a book of hundreds of pages in a day, oftentimes less. Phew!
I've tried so hard to get back into reading as much as I did then, but, it's so hard. My attention span is not only so much worse now, but now I can't get my brain to be quiet long enough to get through a few pages. My mind goes in a hundred different directions because I have so many things to worry about. Life drama, work, bills, school, the list goes on. I think this year I've actually not read a book from the first page through to the last, which is a big shame.
Image is mine
I set goals to read just one chapter daily and I laughed at myself, albeit bitterly, after the first attempt cause I couldn't get past the first three pages. Same me who damned everything else, same me who ditched food and going out to anywhere and who could go a week without opening any social media app but only focus on my novels.
Same me who mutual book-lovers would come to for recommendations and to talk books. Now I'm so lost. I'm so blank, I can't even recall the plots in some of my most interesting reads. I don't even talk books.
It itches me the most that nearly any week passes without me adding to my to-read list. I have a longggggg list of books I hope to dig into. Tsk!
What is most painful is the observation of obvious decline in my vocabulary both in writing and speaking. There's a huge difference from when I was a bookaholic and now that I'm struggling with the skill.
Pardon me, I know I'm beginning to sound pathetic. Thing is, I feel so lost, I have little interest in anything else and the one thing I so like, I can't even go through with it. I just need my groove back.
Image is mine
Anyways, I got my hands on Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, and although it's taking too long, I'm pushing it. The novel seems familiar, like something I've read, but I'm not very sure. I can't place it. It's a funny, inviting read and I like it. With some time on my hands now, courtesy of school break, I'm looking to read, read and read. I hope, that the next time I come on here, I have a review to give. What am I even saying? Expect a review, okay?
Do well to share some of your best reads with me. Just anything you think would stir-up the thirst. If you've ever been in this sort of plight as I am, tell me what helped.
Pleaseeeeeee.
Until then,
Thanks for gracing this post.
Greetings!