Understanding the psychology, emotions and behaviour of human can be so cumbersome because every human being has their own unique way of behaving and responding to every about nature. The way we respond to anger, joy, failures, success, disappointment, trust, love etc is quite different from one another and can't be studied in a day. It's so confusing that someone might behave in a certain way today and surprisingly, the same person will behave in another different way the next day, most times we are confused about what people really are? and we don't always seem to find a definite answer to that question.
After my final project yesterday, I decided to cool off by reading one of the books my mentor gave me sometimes ago and I am so glad I picked this book by Tim LaHaye. This book is a blend of understanding human behaviour especially their temperament clash. It is both a psychological compass and a spiritual guide breaking down the complexities of human temperament with such simplicity and clarity that even readers without prior exposure to psychology can understand without any iota of doubt.
The book " Why You Act the Way You Do" was written by a great man called Tim LaHaye. He is an American author and a Christian minister of God's word, he has written more than twenty one books including Spirit-Controlled Temperament and Transformed Temperaments. Tim LaHaye is a popular speaker on family life and prophecy, he serves as an associate pastor at the Prestonwood Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas. He is president of the American Coalition for Traditional Values in Washington, D.C. His books have been a blessing to generations far and wide and I'm so glad to be one of them.
This book teaches about the power of temperament, what temperament are you? (Types of temperament, the twelve blends of temperament, evaluation of strengths and weaknesses, how to do a personal temperament test), temperament and your vocation ( how to discover your vocational aptitudes, uses of temperament in the workplace, the other uses of the four temperament theories), temperament and your emotions (how to deal with fear and anger, facing pressure, temperament and depression, how to cope with anger and hostility), temperament in love and marriage (temperament and sexuality), temperament and your spiritual life (temperament and spiritual gifts, temperament and your relationship with God).
From the very first chapter, Tim LaHaye engages readers with relatable scenarios and penetrating questions. “Why do I behave this way?”,“why do I always have issues with certain kind of people?”,“why do I keep making the same mistakes?”, all these are some of the key questions that form the foundation of the book. In answering these questions, the author draws out old theory of temperaments but modernizes it with psychological insights and spiritual wisdom making it both practical and enlightening.
The four temperaments that were explained in this book are Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic. He showed us how these temperaments can be detected in our eating habits, driving skills, the way you shop, study habits, handwriting, bill paying, communication skills, child discipline etc. This book helps readers to identify their primary and secondary temperaments through self-assessment tools. For instance, a person might be a Choleric-Melancholy meaning they are naturally driven but also emotionally sensitive and perfectionistic. Another may be a Sanguine-Phlegmatic meaning they are socially vibrant but easygoing and relaxed. These insights are very practical.
The part that stood out for me in the book is the way it was able to balance between nature and nurture. It acknowledges that while we are born with a certain temperament, our upbringing, environment and spiritual growth can refine or distort these traits. It also addresses the weaknesses of each temperament without condemnation instead it shows how, when surrendered to God these weaknesses can be transformed. LaHaye integrates Scripture naturally, he draws connections between biblical characters and the temperaments for example, that Paul was likely choleric, Peter was sanguine, Moses was melancholy and Abraham was phlegmatic. This book "Why You Act the Way You Do" is a timeless gem, It has the potential to foster empathy, heal relationships and encourage growth.
I will recommend this book to everyone because there are so many lessons to be learnt here. I can keep writing and writing about all I have learnt and applied in my life just by reading this blessing of a book.
Thank you so much for staying with me, I hope you enjoyed your read and I will also recommend this book for you too.
Have a lovely week 🤗.