The first impression I had when I arrived in the UK was how neat, tidy and orderly everything seemed to be. The houses were tidy and lined up in neat rows, the roads were peaceful and perfectly paved, and the neighbourhoods seemed to be very gentle. There was a lot of order and structure that I thought was impressive at first. But after settling in and accepting the lifestyle, I started seeing something much more deep-rooted and personal - a heavy sense of isolation.
In my country,Ghana, it is the complete opposite, we know each other. We greet each other, we talk to each other, we visit each other, sometimes with or without invite. We eat and laugh over small talk that can go for hours. If something happens to your family, your neighbourhood will know, and most likely will comfort and support you.
No one is ever isolated. If a person even tries to isolate, someone is checking on them, It's something which is part of the Ghanaian culture, how we live. In the UK, the cultural landscape of disconnection is obvious. Everyone is minding their business. People work, come home, and that's it. They always seem to do it quietly. The doors remain closed.
Most people don’t even to know who is next door. I have lived in my area long enough now, and I still feel like I am still the outsider, on my own street. I can be honest in saying I have tried to say hello and introduce myself, but still many of neighbours don't know me or do not want to. I have heard stories about some people passing away in their rooms, when no one reealised it until some days after.
Knowing that you're just by yourself can sometimes be worrying. It is a reminder of some of the shortcomings of what is otherwise a well-structured, civilized life: the silence can feel heavy at times. Yes, of course, peace and quiet can also be refreshing too. It is refreshing living somewhere you do not have noise; in addition, there is not noise with conflict, chaos, and interactions.
But it can be incredibly boring. I must speak for myself in that I come from a place like Ghana, where every life activity includes a person, motion, and interaction. When I lived in Ghana, getting bread for breakfast could easily become minutes of chatting with my neighbours and local shopping vendors. You do not get that spontaneous interactions here as much.
And this is very important to understand; different cultures exist. You have to understand this when you go to a new country. What may be part of normal daily living in one place may seem different in another. There is no perfect lifestyle but just different lifestyles that are determined by cultures, values and environments.
To avoid this kind of life where you feel invisible, it's important to learn how to create your own life, a life you will enjoy. I created my own world through forming meaningful bonds with my family, keeping in contact with friends, and getting involved or in spaces that are important to me.
I am living my life, regardless of whether my neighbours know me, happiness is how I chose to live. Peace is nice and good; however, peace with no connection can feel cold. In all societies, human connections still matter, even if you have to create them yourself.