“ Did you just tell her to bring the spoon for you?!” yelled the girl from across the table.

“ It’s super disrespectful. You have your own hands, why do you even ask her?” she added.

“ Well, I was buying the whole food for us to eat, I set up the plates, and the spoons are missing,” the Indian guy replied, trying to explain the situation.

The situation got awkward pretty quickly as prior to that, we were happily chatting and exchanging some cultural knowledge. In the middle of an almost heated debate and neither of the two wanted to lose, I decided to step up and say, “ Well, we have different cultures and there’s something we might not be aware of, I hope it’s okay and neither of you don’t have to raise your voice”.

“ So, is that disrespectful for you?” I asked further to clarify for some of us at the table.

“ Well, in the Philippines that is very disrespectful to ask someone that you’re not close with to do that. I have to voice it out” the girl explained.

“ But in India, it’s not. I was buying the whole food for us and she happened to stand up and that’s why I asked nicely for her to bring more spoon” he said, explaining the situation from his perspective.

“ That's interesting!” I exclaimed. “ It’s not too big of a deal for me, especially when we have known each other for at least a day or two. At least in my culture, it’s not a big problem. I personally don’t think too much about it too”. That situation led to some interesting cultural exchange and knowledge.

Individual beyond their culture Vs Individual tied to their culture

Later the girl explained that in the philippine, it is considered disrespectful to do that and she mentioned that she always tried to be careful when exchanging with people from different backgrounds. While that is a good approach, I also think that it’s like walking on eggshells when interacting with anyone. I personally just use some common sense and also research prior about the place I am visiting. However, when interacting with different people, I just see them as “people” instead of the culture they were born to. Though in some instances, people and their culture can’t be separated from what happened in that case.

As an Indonesian, I can’t even explain what Indonesia is like in a sentence. It’s so diverse and it’s not even a muslim country. They also speak many languages and customs from one another are different and this is why, when I speak about culture, I always say that “ I don’t represent the people in my country because we’re too diverse”. But I’d happily explain the differences between each province and how things work.

That day, I also learned that in India, men pay. If they treat you to a nice meal, they’re the one who will be paying. They will make sure everyone eats well and such. It is considered disrespectful as a female to offer splitting bills. This really explained some of my interaction with them before where they found it strange that I was offering to split the bills when we meet for a coffee or a meal.

Another thing I learned that day is that in the Philippines, it is considered rude to say no if they offer you a meal. And I have declined some of the offers earlier but then, when they offer me something, I tell them like, “ yes, maybe later”. From my view, I think that people from there that I met are so friendly but they are as religious as some Indonesians. The other girl even has money and a God tattoo which was really intriguing to me. On another note, they told me that when they speak Tagalog, I thought that I was one of them. Well, I mean it’s what I’ve been mistaken a lot here too. I am either a filipina or a thai. But it was so funny when they found out, I am not a filipina and I can’t speak Tagalog other than I know how to sing Pano Naman Ako.

In Thailand, so far I have not found anyone who really speaks out loud about any cultural thing. However, one thing I know is that pointing with feet, using hands to point things out can be disrespectful. They also have something called Lese-Majeste. Also be respectful in temples which is something similar in Indonesia. So for me, I have no issues with any of that because they are pretty familiar to me.

The other day, me and the other people from the hostel were also talking about dating in different cultures and it was as intriguing as many other topics that we have talked about thus far. The cultural differences can make and break relationships, which is why knowing each other's culture is truly important in that case other than similar vision and interests.

Tips for Navigating Different Cultures: Be Open-minded, Curious and Sensible

Wrapping things up, when you’re surrounded by people from other cultures, be open minded, accept differences and acknowledge that the other person might not be aware of your culture. And when another person is doing something that is offending you, remind them in a nice way. I also think that curiosity will help you navigate yourself in a place with people from different cultures. It’s one of the ways I avoid offending people as I know about the do/don’ts instead of doing, “fuck around and find out” approach.