Lifestyles vary from person to person and culture to culture, and most people tend to stick to what they know. Exploration can be scary, so we usually only like to explore what is still within our familiarity, things we see on tv or things friends recommend.
I get cautious of new things like anyone, but the pull to explore is so strong I can’t ignore it and so I’m constantly compelled to expand my world. That’s probably why I ended up studying languages.
“Oh look, there is Asia...
wonder what kind of music they listen to over there now....Tokyo Jihen? Woooooaaaahhh”. And that’s the short version of how I started studying Japanese and later ended up in Japan.
It seemed like common sense to me to explore the world as soon as I could find something to connect with, and I naturally want to find things to connect with. My father is totally different. He ohas been eating baked chicken 5 nights a week for as long as I’ve been alive. No way I could get him to taste the eye opening flavor of duck blood pudding and when he hears me listening to Huun-Huur-Tu he rolls his eyes, as if it’s not incredible music.
I love pushing my boundaries. It’s how I constantly fall in love with life. I am always discovering how something I disliked has its positive points too. Hated trap music at first. Now I am hungry for talented trap artists. I remember the first time I heard Tom Waits. “Uhhhh is this a joke?”. I gave Rain Dogs 3 listens and gave it back to my friend, disappointed. A few days later I woke up with the songs repeating in my head and I’ve been a huge fan ever since.
How do you think I discovered crypto? It was just that curiosity. “What’s this? Woah, so this is how Wikileaks get funded despite being economically cut off ...interesting.” It was new and something I didn’t understand well and so I went to explore it and found something I connected. Now I am dipping my toes in the stock market despite always saying I never would.
My world is constantly expanding, why would I ever hinder it from doing so?
Every time I’m in Shanghai I have this club I go to. It’s not cause I love the club and it’s not cause I’m looking for someone to go home with. I go there cause it’s free entry and it’s really far outside my comfort zone. I kind of like clubs once in a while if they play good music. People wanna flirt and go crazy, it doesn’t bother me, but I need a relaxed atmosphere. I never go to one if I am not sure about the music.
I can’t pretend to like something if I don’t and 98% of pop music doesn’t really do it for me. Large groups of competitive men and insecure women make me very tired if I am trying to join them in what they are doing....but actually, if I change my perspective a little bit I can have a great time.
So I go to this club as a spectator or an anthropologist. I just watch. I don’t go out of my way to talk to anyone, I have zero expectations of meeting anyone, and so I end up having a great time just enjoying a change in scenery and a chance to look into a different world. Sometimes I’ll write a diary. Funny thing is, because I don’t take it seriously, I almost always end up talking to people and learning that they aren’t that into the music either, they just didn’t know any fun places to hang out or didn’t want to spend money.
I generally hang out in grungy bars, beaches, rooftops, city parks and underground live music shows. So sometimes just to change it up, I’ll go to a fancy wine bar, just to challenge myself.
When I see a group of homeless people, my first reaction is not to judge them, nor to pity them. If I’m feeling energetic, I think “I wonder if I could chat with them without any drama or problems?” When I see a rich couple sitting next to me at a bar, I think the same thing. I’m curious about everything because there are so many little worlds to explore. Those little worlds are what I’m talking about when I talk about culture.
I somehow found myself in a board game cafe for lunch. I never play board games. Never.
They have 2000 board games there and charge by the hour but they also serve hamburgers and rice dishes and for that there is no sitting fee. As there are few hamburgers in my neighborhood (much more south Asian food and ramen) and it’s been a year since I ate a burger (I try to avoid fast food), and cause I would like to eventually try every food spot in my neighborhood, I went in.
I was impressed by the beauty of some of these board games. I had no idea how deep a culture it is. They had some games with such brilliant artwork. I told the manager “I don’t really play board games...I’d be happy to try but I’m worried about getting sucked into it and dropping all my other passions.”
We started to talk and I asked him about his favorites. Each game is like a little world, just like these different individuals and cultures in society. He said he likes the complicated ones because the easy ones are all kind of similar. I could totally understand him when he said this because that’s how I feel about pop music. “But” he said, “if you don’t want to get sucked in, you might as well choose a simple one, otherwise it’ll get addictive.” Same as music I guess 😀
A board game is far from my first choice for a good time with friends, but I was really happy to enter into this different world and see what about this thing interests people.
I was surprised at how sociable he was. The stereotype I had of people who play board games is that they are socially awkward and therefore don’t like talking to strangers, especially in Tokyo where most people don’t talk to strangers. But then I thought about it, their hobby is a social hobby, it’s like sports for shy or unathletic people. They must actually enjoy talking to people, otherwise they’d probably play computer or console games.
I had to get back to work but he asked for my business card and said he might want to take my class. 😃 No reason to avoid them just because it’s “nerdy”. If I have time and energy and it’s drama-free and pressure-free, I’m cool with anyone!