Drawing strength is one of those aspects in my life that comes and goes like the tide. I notice how I draw strength whenever I feel I don't have any - I observe myself and recognize what I have done in the past to find my center again and to get up after falling down, waiting for the tide to return.
For drawing strength I usually want to find out first where that lack of strength is coming from, and 9 times out of 10 my lack of strength is due to mind games that the ego mind is playing on itself, becoming so utterly convincing in its stories that I confuse myself with it and fall for its elaborate tales of fear, hopelessness and despair.
But then I recognize that in the problem lies the solution - inherently.
I go back over my situation and compare it to a past situation I have been in, kinda logically lining up objective factors that are going rather well in regards to the progression in my life that the mind so often ignores when being in pain.
It's so easy to forget what we got going for us if all we do is focus on the negative (which still comes so naturally, it's quite the deep-rooted thinking habit), and so I remind myself constantly what it is I have achieved over the past year, how much I have grown and how the situation has developed honestly. The more I do that the less I feel captive of the negative mind narrative that tries to paint a bleak picture. Rather I instantly find that smiling monk inside of me who is completely at peace with how things are and isn't worried in the slightest.
And when I see that monk in my mind's eye I know that he has both a much better overview over my life and also a kind of higher connection to the steps ahead - to the great life plan - that I am too hung up on to even see or recognize. And so I trust his judgment when I can't see the forest for all the trees because he has always been right. Don't even want to call it his 'judgment' but I go with his attitude. When in doubt trust the inner monk who is just sitting there smiling!
The more I get into that sensation, a kind of curious "allowing" of the situation to be exactly as it is, the easier I seem to find out of it.
When I can't for the life of me can't back to center I will often force a break. I will not even try working on something or achieving anything, but just stop everything. Sleep often helps as it resets my internal struggle completely, just to be away from the mind maze for a few hours over night for me is healing beyond belief. And when I get up the monk is still sitting there smiling because he can currently see something I can't.
But the difference is: I feel more capable and able to tackle my situation with some newfound optimism after resetting in this way, reminding myself how often in the past I have gotten out of a rut, recognizing where I am sitting now and how different it already is to my situation just a year or two ago. Optimism and an able attitude are easily graspable once again where there had only been sadness and hopelessness a day prior.
Life will find a way. It always has. And it has always supported me.
Whether I have an invisible collective of spirit guardians at my side or whether these are all models to help my mind make sense of the experience of struggle - resetting my inner inclination and focus (even and especially in the most challenging of times) is what I draw strength from. When I can't I won't even try. Strength always comes back when I move out of the way and let things flow naturally again <3
And if it takes a mental image of a monk sitting there smiling I will take it <3
unsplash.com
unsplash.com