Many of us who grew up in the African family setting is not new to the concept of polygamy and monogamy. While Polygamy is more pronounced in our societies back in the days and monogamy downplayed, it was thought as a function of cultural difference.
Those from the western world were more akin to the concept of monogamy, i mean why would you decide to have more than one wife? but to those in the african setting which were seen as primitve quote and unquote the concept of monogamy and polygamy is a reflection of your societal status. affluence is showed by the number of wives and kids you are able to sire because this automatically translates to adequate manpower for your farms and that you are capable to feed those number of people and care for them makes you a true man.
Earlier today, i was trying to question this concept and the societal belief in the African setting vis a vis the general understanding of why monogamy is not realistic or why it is generally termed in the nature of man to be polygamous and not the woman then i came to a realization that this is simply a classic case of he who pays the piper dictates the tune gone too far.
One thing common in all cultures all over the world is that the man is the provider and breadwinner of the family and as such his authority in the family is unquestionable even though the tides have changed and we have seen more women take over the role of breadwinner.
Reason why men have been seen and believed to be polygamous in nature is because the society has made them the breadwinner and over the years since they control the house with an unending auhtority they can decide to have as much spouses as they see fit but the woman wasn't allowed to because back then the women were just home caretakers. But then what is good for the goose should be good for the gander.
The reality is that it is not only in the nature of men to be polygamous, women have the same capabilities naturally but because the society has decided to render them powerless in this instance they end up at the losing end.
make no mistake, women are polygamous in nature too and it takes self discipline for any human to decide to be monogamous. ever wondered by paternity fraud is a big deal? why it is coming to limelight today and men feel cheated. it is just the simple case that by virtue of our humanity, our body moves at certain frequency and sensitivity irrespective of who it is sworn to. simple reason why a woman can decide to be having an affair with a man that's lesser in status to her husband just because their frequency is in sync.
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This write up is in no way trying to glorify monogamy nor polygamy but what it's brings is the understanding that these two concepts is subject to the individuals and who hold veto power in the relationship even though the status quo has changed with feminism on the rise and lgbt community spring up here and there. sexual orientation and family orientation is now being questioned up to the state where we can safely say that the world is in the state of anomie. values, morals, cultures and traditions have been eroded and now taught in history books thus understanding concepts like monogamy or polygamy and other sub concepts might prove difficult if you weren't born in the era where it was been practiced fully.