“Hi Miss Williams. How are you feeling today?” The kind police lady from the station came to the hospital later that day.
“Hello officer”
“Can you talk?” She asked.
“I would prefer not to, but you’re already here,” I said not trying to sound rude but I was physically and emotionally exhausted.
“I won’t be long. Miss Williams, we searched the area where you were held hostage and didn’t find anybody. We found a lot of blood but we didn’t find a body. No sign of neither Denval or Mark. That’s unfortunate because we’ve been looking for Denval for months now, connected to a series of robberies and rape around Kingston.” She said speaking softly not wanting nick’s men who were standing in the room to hear her.
“Officer, I don’t know what happened. I don’t know where those fuckers are. Obviously not fucking dead!” I felt a bit scared and angry. What if they tried to come back for me or my family?
“We’ll try our best to find them, Miss Williams.” I closed my eyes and drew in a deep calming breath. She put her hand over mine, I guess it was her way of reassuring me. I have been in a state of emotional hell since the whole thing happened. I’ve been having nightmares on days when I actually slept. I’ve been throwing up, unable to keep anything at all down. I’ve been In here for over a weekend and each day was worse than the next. I had no idea what we were going to do or where we were going to live. My mom seemed quite comfortable and happy at Neeko’s. The only thing that brought me hope was seeing her so happy. I haven’t seen her so happy in a very long time. I felt like I let her down, I was unable to give her that kind of happiness.
He brought her to the hospital everyday and he stayed in my room despite my scathing looks. I knew he was stubborn and there was no use asking him to leave again or creating a scene. Furthermore, I had no strength to fight, I was drained. After the day I asked him to leave and he walked out without saying a word, he didn’t try to talk to me again. He just kept staring at me or through the window. Even when my mom left he would stay. He stayed, just being in the room, a quiet presence. If he went home to change or eat, there were men inside and outside my room. He sat in a chair in the corner at nights. I wonder if he slept at all. On days when I had the nightmares he would come kneel at my bedside but he never tried to touch me and he never spoke.
The pain and swelling in my face was going away, as well as the weakness from the effects of the tranquilizer. I figured that since I was feeling less and less weak the nausea would disappear but it didn’t.
“Leah, how are you feeling today?” Dr. Randall walked into my room with her kind eyes and smile. She greeted Nick with a friendly good morning and he offered a cool nod to acknowledge. Why is he still here? I rolled my eyes inwardly.
“I can’t seem to keep anything down. I thought the effects of the tranquilizer would have worn off by now.” I responded trying to ignore Nick who stood when the doctor entered. I wonder if anybody felt the tension between us or was it just me.
“You’ll be doing an ultrasound in a few minutes. How’s the pain? The swelling is going down.” She said turning my face and looking at the bruises.
“The pain is not so bad. I can turn my head now. Thank God I don’t have a broken jawbone.” I answered, but I vaguely wondered why I was getting an ultrasound.
“Good. Do you have any tenderness in your abdomen?”
“Well my stomach area is tender I’m assuming from the aggravation of the lining.” I said contemplatively.
“Yes, hmm”, she looked thoughtful. “That could be a possible reason.”
A nurse came in just then pushing a sonogram machine. She smiled and said a general good morning. I didn’t miss the double take she did when her eyes landed on Nick. Her eyes traveled slowly up and. Down his body. I rolled my eyes. He’s been here all week. Wah she blind dat a di fuss she a see him? Da fuck! He didn’t look at her he was way too interested in what the doctor was doing and saying. I sighed inside. I don’t know why I was angry at her for looking at him. He wasn’t mine and he looked and smelled good enough to eat. Just look at him, he was perfect. He wearing blue jeans, his signature white linen shirt and hush puppies. And those eyes and lips. I had to shake myself, now I started to stare. He looked at me then and I quickly took my eyes off him and went back to listening to the doctor.
“...vaginal ultrasound” she was saying.
“What?” I was confused.
“I’m going to do a vaginal ultrasound,” she repeated.
That got my full attention. “Why?”
“Well we need to rule out all probable causes for the nausea. It could be the tranquilizer, but we’ve been giving you enough fluid to wash it from your system.”
“What else could it be?” My brows creased.
“That’s what I’m going to find out now. Raise your legs and put your knees together.” She said as she placed a condom over the sonogram wand.
I immediately became self conscious. “Can I at least have some privacy.” I looked from her to Nick. He folded his arms across his chest and stared back at me.
“I’m not leaving this room.” He spoke for the first time in days. His statement was not directed at me but at the doctor. She shrugged looking at me apologetically.
I sighed heavily and did as she said. I fixed my eyes on the sonogram machine praying silently that what I thought, was not so. She inserted the wand and the image of my uterus appeared on the screen like a dark blob. The machine beeped as she gently moved the wand around with one hand and touching the controls with the other.
“Ah, there we go,” she said focusing on the screen. She moved the controls and froze the screen on a small dark blob inside my uterus. My heart froze at the undeniable sound of a heartbeat echoing overpowering the bleeping of the sonogram machine. “That little one’s who’s been causing your nausea. Wow, you are one blessed girl. I’m amazed that you have a strong sac growing in spite of the amount of tranquilizer they put in your body. You’ve got yourself a miracle baby growing inside you, Leah,” she seemed to be in awe.
“What? Are you sure?” I felt dumb asking when I could clearly hear the heartbeat.
“Yep. And by the size I’m guessing you’re about 11 weeks along.”
“Fuck...” I breathed softly. No, no I could not manage to care for another human being. I could hardly care for my family now as it is. I deliberately didn’t look at Nick. I heard his in drawn breath when the doctor spoke about the baby.
“Congratulations, Leah,” the doctor said smiling.
“No, Dr. Randall you don’t understand. I can’t be pregnant.” I said frantically arranging the hospital gown to make myself descent.
“I understand it’s a shock, but you are very pregnant. You’re so tiny your body haven’t started changing yet and you’re almost at the end of the first trimester.
“How do I get rid of it?!” Now I was in full on panic mode. I couldn’t do this.
“Yu mussi lose yu pussyclaat mind! Get rid a fucking what?!” He was angry. He was looking at me totally disregarding the doctor.
“Leah, you know abortion is not only dangerous, it’s illegal.” She ignored Nick’s outburst. Her warm hands covered mine in her usual comforting way when she saw the tears. “You two probably need to talk. I’ll order some prenatal vitamins for you. Maybe you could try drinking some soup to soothe your stomach. And I’ll print a copy of your baby’s sonogram.”
“Fuck! Fuck!” I wanted to scream but I couldn’t. I closed my eyes as the tears started. I was in shock, this was the last straw. No where to go, no way to feed my family and a baby on the way. A baby for a man who didn’t love me. Dark despair came over me as my stomach churned and bile rose to my throat. I grabbed the the bowl and emptied the contents of my stomach in it. He was by my side when I was finished, taking the bowl and wiping my mouth with a wet towel. I tried to take the towel from his hand but he insisted. He was so close, I wanted to crawl in his lap. I missed him and I wish things were different because I needed him so much right now just to be close to him.
Wow, 11 weeks pregnant with Nick’s baby. No matter how many times I closed I eyes and prayed this was just a dream, it was as real as the icy basin of water Denval plunged my face in. After Mark and I stopped having sex I came off the pill, there was no point in taking it. I forgot all about that in the midst of my overpowering arousal and wanting Nick. It never occurred to me that we weren’t using protection. I decided not to tell my mother when she came to visit. Maybe later after I came to terms with it. Right now, I was still in a state of shell shock and denial. I listened to my mother talk about the things Lincoln was newly fascinated with which included one of Nick’s men who took a liking to him. Apparently Lincoln was spending a lot of time with him and even spoke to him. That was an unexpected change. Lincoln hardly ever spoke to anyone, he was always locked in his own little world. I also learned that Nick bought him an iPad that he could use for his entertainment. Damn, they were getting way too comfortable.
The soup came and I only managed to sip a little and hold it down. Despite my objections and scathing looks Nick insisted on spoon feeding me. He was impossible. Did he not understand that I didn’t want him near me?
I fell asleep with my mom by my bedside. It was comforting to have her close. I felt so lonely inside. I was back in the room, Mark was holding a gun and he was pointed it at my stomach with a sinister smile, “Yu tek man pan mi plus yu go breed fi him?!” He said darkly and pulled the trigger. The single gun shot rang loudly in the air and I was jolted from my sleep bolting upright and gasping while holding my stomach.
The room was dark, there was a little light streaming in from the half shut window. My heart was racing and my breathing was heavy. I looked around frantically and I saw him in his usual spot. He was watching me. I needed him. Fuck everything. I needed him. I slowly moved back the covers and walked the short distance to him pulling my iv stand. My legs felt like jelly . He watched me the entire time not saying anything. I was trembling as I crawled into his lap without speaking. I tucked my head under his chin and his arms enveloped me. He breathed deeply taking in my scent and kissing my hair. I didn’t want to think, I was scared and he was my safe haven.
“Baby, I’m so so sorry for all you’re going through right now. I wish I could take your place. It’s going to be alright. I won’t ever leave your side and I promise you that I am going to kill those motherfuckers myself.” He spoke so softly I could barely hear him in the quiet room. I didn’t care to hear him really, I just needed the comfort of his body close to mine. I clung to him. I was tired and worn and I wanted a good night’s sleep for once. My tears flowed and soaked his shirt until I fell asleep feeling safe.
I heard muffled talking and my arms and legs were felt a bit cramped. My eyes fluttered open. It was morning and I was still curled on Nick’s lap. I saw Dr. Randall. “Can I take her home today? This is the first time she’s slept since she’s been here.” Nick was whispering.
“She didn’t mention that she couldn’t sleep.”
“She’s been having some serious nightmares,” I was trying to move my legs from him but he held me fast and lifted me like a child. I was already small I can only imagine how much smaller I must look now. He walked with me to the bed and the doctor held my iv stand.
“Leah, I’m sorry to hear you haven’t been sleeping. Why didn’t you say something?” She asked.
“I’m sorry, I just didn’t think it’s a big deal. I know these things can happen after a traumatic experience. I’m just waiting for them to pass.” I said still a bit groggy and stiff.
“Well, you can go home today. I’ve written you a referral to one the best OBGYN I know. I hope you’re a bit more accepting of what’s going on. You’ll be in good hands with Dr. Fredricks.” She handed me the letter.
“Does the doctor do house calls?” Nick quickly asked. I looked at him with such contempt it was not lost on Dr. Randall. I could see she wanted to laugh.
“Yes, she does.” She answered trying to hide her smile. She must think we’re two crazy people. “Leah, I hope to see you here when you do your residency in another couple of years. I look forward to working with you in the future.” And to Nick she said, “Please take care of her.” Then she exited the room leaving us alone.
“I don’t want you in here another minute, I’m taking you home.” He said harshly as soon as the doctor closed the door.
“I don’t have a home.” I was staring off dejectedly. He ignored me and opened the small cupboard with my personal supplies. Going through the items he grabbed a summer dress. It must be new because I didn’t recognize it. “Come on let’s get you cleaned up so I can get you home and get you some real food.” He stretched behind me and undid the tie at the back of the hospital gown. I didn’t protest I sat there. God, I just wished the despair would go away. Everything seemed to have fallen on my shoulders at that point and the tears started.
“Fuck!” I heard his anger and frustration even through my own frustration. “I hate to see you like this. I know you hate me right now, but I’m not leaving your side. I’m going to take care of you no matter what you say. I need to get you home and in a bath.” Tension was radiating from him as he removed the hospital gown. I didn’t flinch as he threw the summer dress over my body. He moved my limbs like a puppet to get me dressed while I sat staring and the tears continued to flow.
The nurse from the day before who was so enamored with him came in pushing a wheelchair. She gave a chirpy good morning but neither of us responded. She brought hospital release forms for me to sign and Nick took them from her. I’m surprised she didn’t swoon at his feet. After he signed them, she opened the door and stood by the wheelchair looking at him. He didn’t look at her, he scooped me up and walked pass her through the open door. His men in black appeared out of nowhere. There was no use fighting him, I didn’t have the strength or will, so instead, I hid my face in his neck as he made his way out of the hospital pass the gaping nurses.
I didn’t leave his arms until he deposited my weak body in a tub filled with warm soapy water. The ride home, the excitement from my mother, Claudia and even Lincoln passed in a blur. He sat on the edge of the tub and washed my body, he even held the container when I threw up while he was bathing me. When he finished washing me, he moisturized my body from head to toe, gently massaging my muscles as he did so. It felt so good and tantalizing that despite my condition I felt moisture building in places he wasn’t even touching. Though I had my own clothes, he threw on one of his white v-necks over my body and placed me under the covers.
Ms Claudia brought me a tray with broth and crackers, the only thing I seemed to be able to hold down and as usual despite my protests that I could feed myself I was spoon fed. My mother came in when as I shook my head on the last sip of soup.
“Lee Lee thank God you come home!” She exclaimed. “So you bathe an ting already?”
“Yes, Miss Sarah, you can come keep her company,” he said as he walked away with the tray. The tension between us was still thick but neither of us said anything to the next. I was just too tired and he was probably trying to avoid a confrontation.
“Hi mommy”, she reached the bed and sat on the edge and hugged me.
“You a mash up the shotta head enu Lee. Is what happen between the two a uunu?” She asked shocking me.
“Mommy it’s nothing,” I said pulling the sheet away so she could climb in beside me. “Lay down with me please,” I didn’t want to admit it, but I was a bit scared to be alone.
“It can’t be nothing. Everybody fraid fi approach him cause him a bite at everybody since the whole thing happen,” she said as she climbed into the bed. “I’m not staying in here long. You need to rest.”
“Wah you mean everybody fraid fi approach him?” I asked her my brows furrowed.
“Di man nu chat to nubaddy. Him nu eat, him nu sleep. Him jus come here bathe, change him clothes and leave.”
“Well I don’t know what’s going on with him. But I have something I need to tell you.” I held her hand and sighed deeply. “Please don’t be mad, I’m already freaking out.”
“Just say what you saying Lee.”
“Ok...I’m pregnant mommy. I can’t even take care of you and Lincoln and now I’m gonna bring another little person in this mess,” I was holding my mother’s hand so tightly.
“Leah, first ting, that man out there will not leave you to care fi him baby by yourself. You nu see the man would put the moon at your feet if he could. And second, mi did know you pregnant from me see how u a vomit in a the hospital.” She was actually smiling.
“Mommy why you think any of this funny? I’m not ready for a child and I have school and you guys to take care of, that’s enough!” I felt the tears threatening I had to swallow and blink a few times.
“Leah, I don’t care what he does or who he is; the way he cares for you is more than me ever see a man do fi a woman inna mi lifetime. He blames himself for what happened to you and I don’t think you or this child will want for anything ,” she said.
“I don’t know why he’s blaming himself. Mark was jealous and he did stupid shit.” I said trying to downplay the seriousness of the situation.
“Mi glad you see it as just stupid shit but God help him when dem ketch him. Him wudda safer if police hold him God know,” she said shaking her head. “Stop worrying about all that and try to rest. I love you.” She kissed my cheek and in her slow way she got out of the bed and left the room.
I tried to sleep but each time I closed my eyes the nightmare images haunted me. I went on Nick’s side of the bed and inhaled his scent from his pillow. Who knew that your sense of smell could be so strong that just by the small act of taking in his scent I was so turned on. Pheromones. I shook my head. I really missed him and I wanted him. I wanted to feel his mouth in my secret places. ‘Yes, and that’s why yu pregnant’ my subconscious screamed in my head. As if unerringly drawn to me like the male silk worm he appeared in the room and saw me hugging his pillow and inhaling his scent.
“Don’t tell me you can smell how turned on I am from just my pillow,” he said softly. I gasped and opened my eyes and rolled back to my side of the bed staring at him. He was wearing a bathrobe as if he showered in another room because my mom was with me. My breathing was a bit labored. I don’t know if it was from him catching me doing something so silly, my arousal or how sexy he looked. His eyes still looked tired but they were still like molten silver that drew me into their depths. I watched him as he slowly approached the bed. I could see the water beads on his bronze skin and I knew he was naked under that robe. He wet his lip in his usual habitual way and I instinctively wet mine, which immediately became dry just from seeing him and knowing what was under his robe.
“Leah, were you calling for me?” He asked standing over me. I didn’t respond. I just kept watching him. “Oh right you’re not talking to me. I wonder if you’d respond if I kissed you? Or if I licked you?” He asked seriously. I wasn’t responding with my lips but body was certainly responding. My nipples that were now noticeably more sensitive beaded and pushed up on his T-shirt. My pussy was more than moist, it was wet as fuck. I needed this man. Fuck Monique! Fuck Mark! And fuck life in general! I was in need and I was going to take what I needed.
He sat on the edge of the bed. He smelled even more delicious in person. His head dipped and his lips tasted mine. Omg it felt like a first kiss, so sweet and so undemanding his lips moved over mine. As if in slow motion my arms wrapped around his neck, opening my mouth and giving him the welcome his tongue needed to slide in. His eager hands found the hem of the T and lifted it from my body easily. Both his hands cupped my breasts and he groaned with pleasure in my mouth.
“Wow, they’ve grown”, he said against my lips. The pads of his thumbs moved against the sensitive nipples and I gasped in response. “Oh, they’re sensitive too,” he said in wonder. He was like a kid who discovered a new part on their toy. He bent his head and his tongue flicked out and licked one peak and my back was arching off the bed. This was different, the spark ignited the flame in my pussy and I was officially on fire when he slowly drew the nipple in his hot mouth.
“Ahhhhh”, was all I could manage. He sucked a little harder then rubbing the stubble of his face against it. “Fuuuuuuuuck!” I grabbed unto the sheets. This was a different kind of sensation. He smiled and drew the nipple into his mouth again, repeating the action while his other hand rubbed the other nipple between his index finger and thumb. He repeated the ministrations on the next nipple, giving it an equal amount of attention as the first. I was beyond myself holding his head in place not wanting him to stop; especially when I heard his moans of appreciation for the growth of my breasts. He sucked, bit and rubbed my nipples against his stubble until I was gushing pussy juice soaking my underwear.
His lips moved down my body kissing every inch as if he was truly seeing my body for the first time. Running his tongue over my studded navel ring he stopped below my navel and kissed the barely noticeable paunch, the evidence of his child growing inside of me. He hooked his fingers in the side of my underwear and deftly tore through the lace throwing the shreds to the side. Lifting my legs like a puppet, he bent my knees and spread my legs apart exposing my engorged pink pussy to his eyes and mouth. He teased the inside of my thighs, kissing and placing small bites on my thighs, driving me crazy.
“Please...” I writhed under him, my eyes closed and hands grabbing the sheet.
“Please what, Leah?” I could feel his smile on my thighs. Motherfucker.
“Kiss me, please. I need you to kiss me motherfucker!” I practically shouted at him.
I could feel his smile widening against my thigh as he inched closer to my center. When his tongue flicked out and touched my nub both our moans filled the space of the room. “Roses, chocolate and sexy,” he murmured against my flesh as he drove me to the top of the highest peak and with the flicking of his tongue. He had me soaring above the clouds like an eagle.
He threw off his robe and climbed fully into the bed. I expected him to climb on top of me, but he grabbed my waist and pulled me on top of him. I slowly slid down on his dick, my pussy adjusting to accommodate his length. “Swing pan yu cocky Gypsie,” he commanded and I started moving. He felt so fucking good I wanted to scream his name and tell him how much I missed his dick deep inside me. I bounced up and down on his sweet stick making him curl his toes, his fingers clinging tightly to my waist. Pussy juice flowed down the sides of his dick and that made him wild, holding me in place, he moved his hips off the bed slamming into me. He took back the control and flipped me on all fours. “Baby I’m sorry” he whispered in my ear before he let go of his control and completely lost himself into me.
“Fuuuuuuuuuck” I screamed not caring who could hear me as orgasm after orgasm rocked my body.
“Don’t. Stop. Cumming!” He said tightly as he slapped my ass and continued to slam into me. He groaned deep in his throat as his thrusts became shorter, deeper and faster. One long hard thrust later and he spilled his cum deep inside me. We collapsed on the bed together. He drew me into the curve of his body and kissed and sucked at my neck.
“I’ve missed you, baby,” he whispered in my ear.
“I’ve missed you, too,” I said it so softly I barely even heard myself.
We lay there in silence, waiting for our heartbeats to get back to normal.
“Will you marry me, Leah Williams?” He breathed in my hair. I stiffened. Did he just...?
“What?” I asked dumbfounded.
“Will you please spend the rest of your life with me?”
“Stop playing with me Neeko! This shit is not funny!” Now I was angry. I sat up staring at him and he laid there staring back.
“Do I look like I’m joking?” He asked seriously.
“No. No. Fucking no!” I shouted.
“So did you actually think I would let you out of my sight after everything that happened? And especially now that you’re carrying my child?” I opened my mouth to respond and he said, “No don’t. It’s called a bloodclaat rhetorical question!” He got up and threw on his robe in anger. He walked to the door and stopped then turned and looked at me, “Your answer is no? Ok.” He said with finality and walked out of the room.
………….
Tired, dirty and hungry Mark leaned against a wall to catch his breath. He had been running and hiding from Neeko’s men and the police for over a week now. He briefly wondered about giving himself up to the police but he was afraid of being in a jail cell. He hadn’t seen Denval since the night of the kidnapping, he wondered where he was but he was more concerned for his own life. He sneaked through the darkened streets toward his house maybe they stopped looking for him there by now. He gasped in shock when he saw the burnt remains of what used to be his home…