New Kingston Town

“Choppa Bling, so you a seh we a guh rob 14 brinks one time? One fi every parish in Jamaica? You head deh mars mi G.”

“Don’t question di ting, just know the whole a we a guh eat a food and set fi life mi general. Just trust mi bredda. One Knock, 14 truck a get fuck!”

Choppa Bling knew something his foot soldiers didn’t and worked the Netflix worthy script as if it were a blueprint. But like most dons in Jamaica he had the links to the brinks, literally.

“Choppa, see the codes here, use these gloves and contact lenses as well for the biometrics. Once your bwoi dem get the vehicles the AI drive a guh kick een and drive them to the locations”.

“Straight straight and from there the other man dem a wait fi switch it up. And we a guh link yah suh fi di transaction.”

Part 1: The Heist of all heists

No one is exactly sure how choppa bling and his cronies were able to rob 14 brinks trucks at almost the same time in 14 different parishes. It was all over the news globally. Jamaica needed another Bob Marley, Usain Bolt or even a Sean Paul, but there we were on the digital arena for the biggest heist in history. It was on CNN, NBC, FOX, BBC and more importantly the real news, on social media, it was everywhere, it even took attention off the US elections.

”This sounds like a Bollywood movie, you mean to tell me 14 brinks trucks full of cash were stolen all in the same day, this does not look good for the Jamaican government, the police force……. the entire country.”

”I know right, there are even rumors circulating on social media that it was the government who helped orchestrate the entire thing to usher in a fully cashless society.

The most interesting thing to me was the fact the police cars that were “chasing” the brinks trucks seemed to be escorting them. They didn’t shoot, they didn’t try to run them off the road… nothing. In one specific video the police unit on pursuit eased back. Jamaica corrupt you fuck.

What came next was unexpected, well, to most people. The Jamaica government did a live emergency broadcast. Everybody and dem dog and puss were watching, even the croaking lizard 🦎 on the wall.

“Jamaica, for far too long, we have lived with these hooligans, they have created a nightmare for the honest hardworking people of this nation for decades. We tired of it now, we cannot live like this any longer, under siege in our island paradise. We have to mek Jamaica nice again. This is not a place to harbor criminals that want to suck the irie vibes out of “Jah Mek yah”.

”My fellow Jamaicans, the cabinet and I have decided, that the only way to get rid of this crime that has taken over our island is to go fully cashless and we mean now! Not next week, not next month, not next year when we feel the time is right, we mean right now.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to announce that as of tomorrow January 14th, Monday 2030, Jamaica will go fully cashless. All cash will need to be turned into your local bank and the JamDex equivalent will be sent to you before you go out the doors. Jamaica, we have no other choice, we tried it all, except hitting them where it hurts most, their pockets. So the trillions stolen, to you Mr. Choppa Bling, good luck trying to spend it.”

Hand clap 👏: Brilliant idea Mr Prime-minister. Brilliant my rass. As the broadcast ended I thought of all the hiccups that would take place on Monday morning. I have seen this series before, it actually took place in Nigeria around 2022-2023 but of course no one paid attention to it because it was only affecting black people in an African country. They pushed for a cashless society, but first introduced new notes that had to be changed for the old ones and the fees to change to the new notes made the banks a killing.The chaos that followed, well, it wasn’t pretty.

”Alright Choppa, so I sent off the Monero to the links in Taiwan, the ting a guh ship by morning and land Friday. The links a di port a guh pick it up right away”.