5" x 8" ball point pen on paper
Qi, is facing to the left - the Divine Feminine, The Future. A transparent winged heart is flying out of his mouth. To his right is light. To his left is dark. His left ear is bent and his right ear is up. His tail is in a spiral.
Qi brings the message of light into the darkness. He is telepathic and he is here to help me. He is one of my guides who decided to walk with me on this path now, because I need help.
Why? I can see Truth and it is daunting. What's the Truth that Qi has telepathically downloaded to me? Most people are traumatized, and therefore they are living out their trauma in this way:
1)We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.
2)We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.
3)We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.
4)We either become alcoholics,addicts, narcissists, secondary psychopaths, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.
5)We live life from the viewpoint of victims and are attracted by that weakness in our love
and friendship relationships.
6)We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, and it is easier for us to be concerned with
others rather than ourselves; this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.
7)We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.
8)We became addicted to excitement.
9)We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.”
10)We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to
feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).
11)We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.
12)We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to
hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which
we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.
13)Alcoholism, Drug Addiction, Narcissism, Psychopathy is a family disease; we became "co-dependents" and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink. (but maybe we are using porn? shopping? insider-trading? crypto? gaming? scheming & scamming? texting?)
14)Co-dependents are reactors rather than actors.
- To cover our fear of people and our dread of isolation we tragically become the very
authority figures who frighten others and cause them to withdraw.
16)To avoid becoming enmeshed and entangled with other people and losing ourselves in the
process, we become rigidly self-sufficient. We disdain the approval of others.
17)We frighten people with our anger and threat of belittling criticism.
18)We dominate others and abandon them before they can abandon us or we avoid
relationships with dependent people altogether. To avoid being hurt, we isolate and
dissociate and thereby abandon ourselves.
19)We live life from the standpoint of a victimizer, and are attracted to people we can
manipulate and control in our important relationships.
20)We are irresponsible and self-centered. Our inflated sense of self-worth and self-importance
prevents us from seeing our deficiencies and shortcomings.
21)We make others feel guilty when they attempt to assert themselves.
22)We inhibit our fear by staying deadened and numb.
23)We hate people who “play” the victim and beg to be rescued.
24)We deny that we’ve been hurt and are suppressing our emotions by the dramatic expression
of “pseudo” feelings.
25)To protect ourselves from self punishment for failing to “save” the family we project our
self-hate onto others and punish them instead.
26)We “manage” the massive amount of deprivation we feel, coming from abandonment
within the home, by quickly letting go of relationships that threaten our “independence”
(not too close).
27)We refuse to admit we’ve been affected by family dysfunction, world dysfunction or that there was dysfunction in the home or that we have internalized any of the family’s destructive attitudes and behaviors.
28)We act as if we are nothing like the dependent people who raised us.
What is the solution?
Look at yourself honestly. Pray and Meditate. Walk barefoot in Nature. Sit closely in Nature and Observe Nature. Get off pharmaceuticals, look at where and how you are behaving this way - SURRENDER - ask the God of your understanding for help - and begin to become a loving parent to your Inner Child Self - only then can you practice humility and service, once there is a living representation of Your Higher Self within you. And then make amends for harms caused. This is a Spiritual Path. Living by Natural Law - Morality. But we are Traumatized and MUST overcome it before we can live deeply with Mother Earth.
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