I couldn't take it anymore, I swear.... And yes, sorry for starting this post in such an abrupt way, but if there is something about HIVE and blogging, it is precisely the cathartic function of relaxation and liberation. The truth is that today, Friday, I decided to do the opposite of what I am normally used to do. To break with the monotony of waking up, making breakfast for my daughter, taking her to school, getting ready, going to work and then going back to finish the day; that's enough. Today I need disconnection, peace, pleasure, solitude, and some fascination too?
When I left work, which is the most boring and repetitive thing a human being has to do to "make a living", I decided to stop. I did not stay at the bus stop that normally leads to my house. Prior to that action, which although it was born out of an impulse of tiredness and boredom, I did not leave behind my obligation as a mother. I called my little daughter, and asked her if she was okay and if she had already eaten (I always leave her meals prepared, just to serve them and eat), she answered "Yes, mommy, everything is fine. I'm playing. That sweet answer was enough, I made the decision.
This is how this micro story of how the boredom of repeating the same thing a thousand times, has tired my already tired soul. And if there are things that give me a lot of pleasure is the combination of chocolate and candy. Oh yes, sweet and beautiful pleasure. I took the little money I had available, stayed several stops away from home, went to a small coffee shop, ordered not one, but two lattes, and two huge and always delicious crunchy sweet puff pastry dough cookies with cold chocolate coating. I pulled out my headphones, put on "airplane" mode and played my favorite playlist.
I can assure you, when you're having an amazing time, the passage of time seems to fade cruelly fast. I arrived at that place after 6:00 pm, let's say 6:35 p.m. and when I realized, it was 8 o'clock at night! Crazy... But I felt no guilt. In a long time, I hadn't given myself the time of peace, quiet and detail that every human being needs. You see, being a mom, girlfriend, daughter, and co-worker is not easy.... Everyone at all times expects everything from you. That pressure, added to life's own problems are exhausting.
However, what I think I needed so desperately was to find my serendipity. That fortuitous "thing", that without "looking for it", simply appeared. You will probably think that I am exaggerating a bit with my story and my situation, but I swear it is not so.... I love my family, my little one, but I am not lying when I tell you that getting away from the gray monotony is something I am immensely grateful for. I guess, that's where the urge to disconnect from everything comes from.
To take a few minutes (hours) to simply give myself pleasure, whatever that pleasure may be. To find myself, to be with what I want to do and how I want to do it. Without being accountable, without being with my senses in alert mode or worrying about how I look, how I smell, or who I am with. That wonderful virtue of breaking the routine, with yourself, escaping from everything, everywhere, and all responsibility. I ask you please, when you feel the collapse, take a moment for yourself and disconnect from it all.
