Happy New Year, I know I am late to start the year as it was the second day of January and the year 2023, but I am now ready to take the things in hand. I have been inactive for more than 10 days now in blogging and trading. What reasons? A lot of things happened, preparation and occasion, with that I am proud that my 2022 ended great, and the beginning shall also be fun to start new, refreshed things and become something that is great for the entire year.
Last night I got home at 11 in the evening, drunk. I don’t know, but I am still familiar with everything, yet weirdness cannot be denied. Going inside the residence, the four dogs excitedly waiting for me got inside, then when I entered the gate, all of them wanted to crawl up to me. It's been raining for the entire day and the soil is wet so their feet have mud. This is my problem mostly every day. An excited dog could result in my stained muddy pants.
I get drunk because it's not easy to escape with new friends. I loved the night, actually; I met new people. My cousin’s mutual friends. What I liked the most was that they were all bright talking about business and education. They are all professionals, business owners and even working police. I want to be in a circle of friends like them, but I am not that hypocrite; they are warm and welcoming so I went up open to them. I am a bit shy and cannot be talked to for two hours, but ended. I finally got that we have the same vibe.
As I was drunk, it give me realize. Just waiting for my alcohol to burn down at least so I could clean myself, shower and brush my teeth, and then go to bed immediately. As I am drunk, I don’t want to go to bed messy.
Then as I stay in the silence of the night, here comes the four dogs, all of them resting on my foot. I loved this. Actually, it gives me warmth and comfort. The feeling of love.
Here comes why I am a dog lover. They knew my secrets. For 2022 I am silently enduring pain, heartbreaks and loneliness. They were there, the days and nights that they are the ones to whom I can talk about the long lonely nights. I easily get mad when someone gives them ‘shooo’ or makes fun of them, for I know that they will be the only one who knows and gives me comfort.
A realization I have a lot. I hold regrets last 2022. I failed in some parts and I learnt about it. I am not sure that I can prevent those things from coming but gives me something in my life, life lessons and life comfort as I am still ready to take the chance to fail; rather than being so much afraid to do new things.
About heartbreaks, I have a lot last 2022 and life sucks so probably here comes 2023 with more, but like I said it's better than having no at all. Sometimes I just smiled at the moment of heartbreak, for it was the life meant to be. It's not a fairy tale. So I realised that 2023 will be more realistic for me; some fantasies and fairy tale expectations stories should be avoided. I am immune to heartbreaks.
But not with the drama.
Last 2022 wasn’t all about negatives; the last year gives me also happiness and my desires. I cherished it. Treasure and look forward to the best memories that I can find. This 2023 I want to invest in myself.
Happiness and fun with me, myself and I. I will be more on self-development. Somehow, I think I should be selfish for 2023. For I am much more given to others last year and forget myself. I realized it when I have none left. I am shy to ask so I just smiled, thinking I am still good, and I hate that.
2019 until now 2023 seems like no changes at all, just like the counting years, but leaving me more on realizations at least.
I got in the pages of this blog and realized that feels emotional, but really it's not. Maybe I have a hangover but I don’t feel about it, maybe drinking really helps me to realize last year's events; I wished that not a Déjà Vu. I have things wished to do repeats this 2023 but not the whole thing, but when it comes again, the losses and heartbreaks, God help me but it feels so normal and quietly endurable.
Happy New year everyone, and wishing you a new beginning full of blessings and life development.
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 | Hi, eunoia101 is a Farmer, Registered Agriculturist, Agronomist, Farm Technician, Mushroom Cultivator, Entrepreneur, and soon Researcher. Suppose your problems or queries are in any of the fields, don't feel hesitant to comment. We will try to resolve that. Upvote and reblog are highly appreciated. |
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