Pictorial Day — One Batch, One Frame, A Thousand Smiles

Hi, Hive! I hope everyone's doing well.

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This blog is all about ✨ Pictorial Day — One Batch, One Frame, A Thousand Smiles ✨

When our teacher announced that we would be having a pictorial day, we were so shocked, because usually, during recognitions, our school doesn't have pictorials. Only the Grade 10 (Moving Up) and Grade 12 (Graduation) will have their own pictorial day. The grade 7, 8, 9, and 11 will have normal recognition days with no pictorials at all. However, this year was different, all of the honor students had an individual pictorial session.

Pictorial Day

I was so insecure during that day. I couldn't stop comparing myself to my classmates. They were naturally pretty and their faces were so symmetrical. I was unsure whether to put my hair in a ponytail or let it down. I asked my friend, Clowie, and she said that it's up to me. Her answer made me overthink. But, I decided to let my hair down, because I feel more confident with it.

After waiting for an hour and thirty minutes, it was finally time to have our individual pictorial session. We decided to do it alphabetically and we let the boys have their pictures first.

My anxiety was so high during my turn to have my picture taken, but luckily, I managed to pull through.

Prom Queen by Beach Bunny was playing in my head.

The lines

“Dissect my insecurities
I'm a defect, surgical project
It's getting hard to breathe
There's plastic wrap in my cheeks”,

perfectly described what I felt that day — insecurities and all. I wanted to cry that day. I wish I could be naturally pretty just like my classmates. I just wanted to disappear and vanish into thin air.

And the lines

“If I'm pretty, will you like me?
They say, "Beauty makes boys happy"
I've been starving myself
Carving skin until my bones are showing”,

I was having a hard time fitting in with my naturally pretty classmates. I was not hoping for the boys to like me, but I was hoping that I would be pretty just like my classmates. I don't get compliments often. Sometimes I get compliments about my long silky hair, but never about how I look.

I managed to keep a smile on my face, despite the feelings and thoughts that were in my mind. If I could make a movie or a book about how I felt that day, I would call it Behind Every Smile: The Story Untold. No one knew what was behind my smile. Everyone thought I was okay. I had no one to talk to, and writing this blog is my way of expressing what I truly felt during that day.

FROM UNIFORM TO CLASS T-SHIRT

After our individual pictorial session, we immediately changed our clothes from uniform to class t-shirt and decided to have a class picture and I hope that it will not be our last class picture.