Today, I attended The Feast at Ayala Center Cebu alone as my housemate overslept and the other one had to work overtime. Usually, I refrain from going when I have no companion because I am a bit shy to interact with strangers and not yet comfortable hugging others I don't know. However, I mustered the courage to go today, albeit ten minutes late, to avoid the Free Hugs session.
The Warmth Committee marked my wrist, and then I automatically looked for the box full of rolled paper, which contains a quote or Bible verse. Every time I pick one, the message always resonates with me, and I tend to get emotional, being a crybaby Pisces.
Let me share some of the quotes:
Whatever it is you're pursuing or trying to be good at, the only way to know how far you'll go is to keep going.
During this time, I was in a state of confusion regarding my career path. All my life, I had been working solely for the sake of earning a salary to support my sisters' education and pay off some household debts. However, when I relocated to Cebu this year, I pondered whether I should pursue my profession or stick with the job offer that I accepted primarily for its salary and benefits.
Your task as a human being is not self-augmentation but self-discovery. Look at yourself with curiosity. Let yourself explore your interests. Delve into your talents. Face your fears. Accept your faults and give yourself unconditional love.
When I finally decided on a career path, it was indeed a struggle. I don't know where to start. I am drawn to electronics but lack experience in hardware and firmware. I also want to be inclined toward the communications side, but it's too broad and overwhelming. Though I am interested in software, my skills are insufficient, and I am not fond of hardcore coding. It would've been better if I were in the firmware; that way, I could shift to software.
To gain clarity, I explored my options and tried to identify which field I wanted to pursue. I signed up for a Software QA Tester Webinar, where the majority of the participants are QA or Web developers. Though I felt out of place, especially during the activities, I really enjoyed it and was able to use my brain cells. I also delved into studying LoRaWAN and playing with a gateway, participated in a 4-session Open RAN and 5G webinar, and planned to purchase the necessary board and modules to start working on the activity project at the Nordic learning hub.
Some days, it feels like no good day will come anytime soon. But although it doesn't feel like it, I still want to hope for it. And maybe just being able to keep this tiny hope alive counts as one big reason to believe in all the good right here, today.
My life felt like a basket full of things to juggle, and I often felt like a lost sheep. I was overwhelmed with trying to identify my true career path, especially given the financial struggles and family business problems I was facing. At some point, I lost hope. The negative thoughts kept coming at me. It was the very first time that it came across my mind. I immediately brushed it off and listened to a praise and worship song.
Between feeling sorry for yourself and doing what you know you need to do to help and grow yourself, I hope you keep choosing the latter.
At times, I felt sorry for myself, and I even told my boyfriend that he should run away from me. Despite it all, he continued to encourage me to persevere in my pursuits. Though I may not have recognized it yet, he kept reminding me of my progress and how I was starting to show interest, make plans, and take action. He is not only my only critic (basher hehe) but also my main sensei, always there to guide me through the ups and downs of life.
During my first time attending The Feast, there were no free quotes given out. However, I vividly remember crying due to the financial struggles my family was facing and my parents' marriage being on the rocks. The message delivered during that session really resonated with me. At that time, I made the decision to give up pursuing my license and instead focus on looking for a job to help support my family.
Despite not being a Catholic, I continue to attend The Feast because it not only helps me spiritually but also mentally and emotionally. I hope that by attending, it will also improve my social skills, as I aspire to volunteer for the dance community. However, my reserved self tends to hold me back.
I told myself I should stop writing something personal here on Hive, but here I am. I realized that what I should stop doing is setting my standards too high and limiting myself to a specific niche or from doing other things. Sometimes, it's okay to be raw, not bottle things up, and just express...or babble.
K N E E L Y R A C
• Instagram • Twitter • Goodreads •