I used to play a lot of computer games back in my elementary days. Since then it gradually become one of my few hobbies that I would probably say I'm proudly good at. Although getting addicted to games is not a healthy lifestyle that I want to have considering that my life is coming together, I want my hobby of playing games on a computer to be somewhat profitable in the future.

I always heard this phrase from my Mom way back in my entire High School life. When I get sick or when I make a mistake on a certain thing. I used to hate this phrase because it was tied to a negative comment about me when I did something wrong.

Don't get me wrong, she's not wrong about me always being on a computer 24/7. It turns me into a person who prioritizes computers more than improving my grades. I vividly remember that time when my teacher announced everyone's grade in physics and I was the only one who got 78. I regretted it so much that I started to hate why I discovered this technology when I could just learn basketball or become a drummer.

In my last year as a Junior High School student my adviser announced that we were having a National Achievement Test(for those who don't know NAT is a test to measure the skill set of an individual in a certain area). When I heard this I immediately panicked because I didn't know what I was going to do after I graduate. I just go with the flow but at the end of streaming water is a huge pitfall. So I studied, I blindly chose study materials that would help me answer the test.

Editor note: Yo after reminiscing I realized that I'm stupid, you don't need to study hard on this test except if you want to get accepted as a STEM, HUMMS, or ABM student but for me, it's not important.

On the test day I'm confident that I will get a decent if not higher mark on this test. I go to school with a smug on my face feeling like I have become a winner of a lottery. After going inside a classroom and sitting down, the teacher immediately gave me a questionnaire for the test. Upon opening it, I saw that all of the things that I studied thoroughly were not on the test. My face went from 😏 to 😨 in just a few milliseconds. At first, I gave up on answering the test but after a while, I saw a familiar question and that is "What is a CPU" After that I saw another computer-related question which gave me a bleak hope of answering this. I said to myself "It's better to have something than nothing". By the end of the day, I go home disappointed yet hopeful that I get at least a few correct answers. A few months later we got the result of the test. When I saw the result I immediately teared up from happiness because that result showed that I have something useful in life even though I didn't study properly my whole life. In that moment of my life, I promised myself that I would properly study and prioritize improving myself.

After I got the result of my NAT which is I'm proficient in computer-related things. I started looking and searching for what jobs and careers you can get if you are proficient in that skill. Then I saw the job profession which is a developer. So after graduating, I enrolled in a Vocational course in computer system servicing. And this started my will to learn new things about computers. At first, I learned what are the different parts of a computer, and after that networking and an introduction to web development. I will never forget the moment when I hosted my first website for a project and we got the highest score among other students. In that era of my life, I learned so many things not only about school-related work but also about forgiving myself for not taking my studies more seriously. In my last year as a Senior High student pandemic hits. All schools closed, the learning method shifted to online, and no interaction with my friends. Although this is happening around the world I kept learning and learning about web development until graduation. After graduating I didn't apply for college for a year but I still kept learning and improving my skills.

This upcoming school year I'm in my 3rd year in college taking a bachelor's degree in Information Systems. Won a web development competition in school, recently got my academic excellence award, and am happy in life. All the struggles from the past, all the worries, and countless sleepless nights of grinding in life. One question that still lingering on my mind