As a senior high student, I often find myself being eaten by doubts and insecurities about my academic performance.
"Will I be able to maintain my grades? Is it necessary to excel in every subject to have a chance to shine? Will my peers still appreciate and accept me even if I am not consistently at the top of our class?"
These questions constantly replay in my mind, which triggered my anxiety and self-doubt.
But here’s the truth: grades do not define our worth or determine our future success. We are more than just a number on a report card. Each of us possesses a unique set of strengths and talents that extend far beyond the confines of traditional academic achievements.
I may not consider myself the smartest person in the room, but I have been a constant honor student. I struggle with certain subjects, yet, I have found success in unexpected areas. Despite lacking confidence, I have surprised myself with my ability to excel in public speaking. Even though I may not be good with words, I can compose essays. And I have found joy and fulfillment in participating in academic contests, regardless of the outcome.
In this blog, I invite you to join me on a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Together, we will challenge the notion that grades are the sole measure of intelligence and worth. To find out the real purpose and importance of embracing our unique strengths and passions, and how they can contribute to our personal growth and fulfillment.
It’s time to break free from the pressure of living up to societal expectations and receive with open arms our unique journeys, that, true success lies in authenticity, personal growth, and the pursuit of our passions.
In the year 2023, as face-to-face classes resumed, little did I know that I would graduate with high honors. It was a pleasant surprise, considering that I had never achieved such academic success before. Elementary and my previous years in high school were not marked by outstanding achievements. The journey to this point was overwhelming, but with the help of my fellow students and friends, I was able to set my sights on this goal.
However, as the year progressed, I found myself craving for more. It was a strange feeling, considering that I had already achieved what I had set out to do. My old self would have told me that the grades I had obtained were more than enough to validate my hard work. But something inside me urged me to strive for even greater heights.
Unbeknownst to me, I had started putting immense pressure on myself. Day by day, I became consumed by jealousy towards my classmates and the constant comparisons made by others. This toxic mindset took a toll on my mental health. Insomnia became regular, and self-insecurities began to plague my thoughts. To add to the mix, I had also experienced heartbreak that threatened to derail my academic priorities.
Now, as I find myself in senior high, I still struggle with this habit of constantly pushing myself. I find it difficult to let go because I fear that I may lose motivation to strive harder without this drive. But I am learning to find a healthier balance. I am discovering that motivation can come from within, from a genuine passion for learning and personal growth.
Becoming an academic achiever is no easy fit. It requires perseverance and the ability to overcome various obstacles that can weigh us down from dealing with group projects where I often found myself doing most of the work to sacrificing my sleep to study for exams, having a night of breakdowns, questioning my worth, and disregarding everything. My journey to academic success has been filled with challenges.
Having a busy schedule, I often had to make sacrifices to prioritize my studies. This meant missing out on fun times with my friends, putting aside my fan-girl moments, and rearranging my agendas. It wasn’t always easy, but I knew that achieving goals required dedication and focus.
Amid my struggles, there is one group that I am eternally grateful for – Seventeen. I want to express my gratitude to all the members, especially my bias, Hong Jisoo. Even though they may not know me personally, their words and the support they provide to their fans have been a constant source of inspiration and motivation for me. Whenever I felt like giving up, their music and messages would always find a way to uplift my spirits.
They never make it feel like a burden to cry. They create a safe place where it’s okay to let things out, to feel vulnerable, and to seek comfort. They have become my safe space, a source of validation and understanding without judgment, and remind me that I am not alone in my struggles.
Aside from Seventeen, I am also grateful for my friends. I may not always be open to them especially when it comes to my mental and emotional health, still, their genuine care for me is still there when I need it the most. Even the smallest gestures have helped me to look forward and to keep going despite all the breakdowns and downfalls. I will forever appreciate these people right here for having them. Because of them, I found another hope and freedom.
From being awarded 3rd honor to moving up to 2nd honor, I can truly say that all the hard work and sacrifices were worth it. As I reflect on this past semester, I realize that I need to be kinder to myself. I pressured myself to excel, to achieve the highest grades, and to constantly prove my worth without having to enjoy the process of learning.
To all the students who are still searching for their worth, I believe in you. Keep pushing forward, and I do not doubt that you will find answers at the right time.