In my childhood, I was never the role model. I wasn't the topper or the boy with special aptitude in one field; I was more like the neighborhood Jill of all trades, and everyone could point to me as the universal example to counteract every virtue and vice.
There came a time when I abruptly let everyone down owing to a dip in my academic grades. My objective had always been to be a nice person, to never wrong anybody, and to be satisfied, yet this large section of my life that was devoted to fulfilling everyone's needs vanished into thin air.
I met new folks and said goodbye to a few. Small dreams were met, while many hopes were dashed. But while I slid down the rabbit hole, I held on to myself the entire time. I enjoyed the self-assured and stiff "me" who was affected by anything that came his way.
But I began to cope with every feeling that had engorged me throughout the years. I was allowed to be broken, miserable, vulnerable, insecure, and plunging into the deep pit of nihilism and pessimism that I had built up for myself. I accepted and smiled when I was bullied for the first time because of my skin and shape. I froze when a very nice relative violated his bounds. When I was informed that it was pointless to expect anything from me, I believed in myself. I also learned to speak up against the same folks. I made it clear that my ethics and integrity were superior to theirs. And hey, I got myself to write about all of it for all to read. For all the battles I lost, I won a few.
Every day, I endeavor to be a nice person. I'm studying something much different than I ever imagined, exploring new things and documenting memories. I'll exude optimism while visiting my depths. I'm still getting stepped over. But I'm learning life lessons every day and striving to become a better person.
Life Lesson: Don't be scared to fail; failure may teach you more than success. Accept yourself, as well as any defects or shortcomings that may occur.
