March 27, 2023১৩ই চৈত্র, ১৪২৯ বঙ্গাব্দ
It’s been a month since the last issue of weekly Turni! I will let you all laugh about the joke for a bit first….okay good? Alright, let's get to it. I have no idea how others are doing, writing, or doing whatever, but it's been a relaxing couple of weeks for me in general. Over vacation I typically get to think a lot. This time around though, relaxing yes, but thinking time? = No for me. It was a rather active vacation. Obviously there are both good and bad things associated with me. Activities are good for the body, lack of thinking time are bad for the mind. So that’s that.
I quickly checked the community page, before writing this, except a few usual legacy farmers, not many community members are writing directly on the community page. Nothing wrong with that. There is a new community called 'wheels of life’, I have been noticing it for a while, lots of the usual suspects from here are also admins there. This is a good effort, please keep it up.
Our doc has been very active lately, which is rather hard to believe. I read his many posts on weekend experience, cinnamon cup coffee, leofinance and various other communities. I think Doc is seriously trying to engage and get his viewership back. This is a great effort, and people should follow doc's footstep, but still commenting on others posts remains a challenge. However, I must say Doctor Strange has turned his blog around.
Amor and Sakib have both been inactive for the last month or so. I checked and there is nothing to see there.
Sam is writing, sporadically, a couple of posts this week after a long gap. I think intent is there, execution is not. Commenting on others usually gets the tempo up, Sam, remember that. If you leave a comment unanswered for 24 hours, from someone who usually doesn’t comment on your post, you are not making the mark. That said, I must say intent is there, I am sure excuses too!
After that, there have been good posts here and there from my community members recently. I enjoyed Rafa's post about skateboarding. I wasn't sure if it was a longboard or not Rafa. To be a real badass, it has to be a longboard. Enjoyed Riz’s post about coffee and meetup. It was simple with a lot of personal touch, just the way I like to write. I wish more people write that way other than “কাগের ঠ্যাং বগের ঠ্যাং” !
And that’s about it………..there is darkness after that.
I think we need to realize where we are first before we try to dig ourselves out of this funk. I quote from Moneyball:
"There's good teams and there's bad teams. Then there's 50 feet of crap, then there's us.”........and with that humbling wisdom I better close this editorial :)
The last time I sat down to write for turni was right after getting that very first job rejection which was understandable and less painful as I went there just to get my father off my back for a while. Even though that experience ended up teaching me some valuable lessons about the job hunting world, fortunately or unfortunately, that phase didn’t last very long after that.
Hence, now as I am sitting down and trying to capture the tangled words to make some sense of the chaotic turmoil this mind has been brewing over the past month, I’ve lost the unemployed status and as a fresh soul getting stuck in the hellish corporate life, I’ve beginning to experience the things no one ever really warn you about.
People don’t warn you about the back pain that becomes an everlasting companion or the process of becoming addicted to caffeine, the bitter taste on your tongue that brings forth an unimaginable willpower to deal with the mundane office life.
They don’t warn you about the tiredness and heavy eyes that burge through the threshold right after the clock gets past that annoying 3 pm. The depression along with the package of existential crisis, questioning, "is this how it is going to be for the rest of your life?".
They don't warn you about waking up being sleep deprived, rushing through that annoying traffic to reach the office in time, cause otherwise some unimpressed glares would be waiting on the other side, stucking in a cubicle desk, checking the clock hundred times a day and then rushing back home to fall down on that ever so familiar comfort of your bed and getting lost in nightmares.
Don’t get me wrong, unemployment has its own designated hell, but being employed sucks out that last bit of whatever you’ve ever known as life. During this one month of getting used to the office life phase, I came across this philosophical quote shared by some girl on my feed and it said, Follow the 8+8+8 rules. Eight hours for work, eight hours for sleep and the remaining eight hours is for friends and family. I just couldn’t help but laugh at the irony.
Eight hours (sometimes more) go into the work, true but then more than three hours suck out by traffic, two hours take up completing the basic needs for survival and then when finally the remaining hours come, you would be too tired to make any impactful social obligations, hence no life outside office to home to sleep. Unless it’s a weekend, but then most weekends go by recharging that tired body.
Thankfully this office environment has a significant improvement compared to last year's horrible internship experience. Here most people are nice and quite helpful, with that being said, it would be stupid of me to be thinking everything will be perfect from here on, because it never will stay that way. Getting into a job and not dealing with double faced people would be too much to hope for. As for dealing with them, well at least that would bring some challenges into this ever so boring routine.
After having mastered a few different set of skills over the past few years, recently my own personal “trend of growth” has become stagnant. A lot of it isn’t as lucrative as it once used to be. Also, I’ve gotten a bit too comfortable I guess, and the comfort zone has happily sheltered me for all this me, absolutely rent-free. But nowadays it feels as if the comfort zone has deceived me instead, as if I’ve been duped, put into a trance.
I stopped working on improvements for quite a while now, I stopped learning, I stopped exploring, thinking that I’m “good enough”, thinking that life is good enough. But then life actually decided to make a little cameo; utilizing its harsh methods, starting with a solid b**tch slap, ejecting me back to reality, as I plummeted into a vigorous downward spiral.
Drastic times call for drastic measures, which is why I’ve been trying to keep myself busy, a bit isolated too.
You really are out of touch when you start to focus on yourself and your growth; you go out a little less, start spending your time and money wisely. Sometimes even depriving yourself from the very essential elements of life, the little moments and details that truly make us human. I know such measures can be a bit too extreme sometimes, but then again, drastic times and drastic measures, remember?
Many people ask me why I’ve been so out of touch for so long, and I don’t have the answer to that. But I guess it’s that way because I feel like I don’t have much time in my hands. Whatever it is that I’m working on, it requires a considerable amount of time, focus and patience.
For now a few things are in play, so it’s just a matter of time, also a matter of learning a few things, and unlearning a few more.
“The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it. Rather, it’s that we aim too low and we reach it.” - Michelangelo
Recently, I've been trying to be mindful over my mental health and everyday I'm learning something new, something that can bring a little peace in my mind.
Among all the mental issues, one thing I was bothered most about is comparison. Like comparing my life with others, how I'm not getting a good job like my friends, not getting permission to travel with friends, not having a life partner, not being able to have a settled life, things like that.
I think at some point, we all have gone through with these points, right? Romanticizing others' success and achievements makes our life fickle which makes us question our own abilities. And within few days, we create a mindset that everyone else is happier than us, and this thinking becomes a habit which can't let us have inner peace.
Sometimes, I don't want to get compared, but somehow my friends and surroundings try to make sure that I suffer with the issue. Can't fully blame them either as I am the one who made the choice in the end! Prioritizing my negative thoughts and year after year, I ended up slumped into my self-made dejection.
Then two days back, this happened. I was watching a video where a girl was sharing her life journey on how she overcame this issue. I came along with a wonderful quote that is still striking me for good. It goes something like this.
I didn't want their perfect lives. I wanted the happiness I believed they possessed.
And this one line changes the whole perspective of seeing life. Because, we don't always have the power to shape our own reality. It takes time, struggles and lots of up and down in what you want to be. It's a path of continuous effort where one has to give in, which needs patience too, to survive in this long journey.
A constant yearning for something you don't have can never make you a better person in life. Coz if you chasing something external to feel at peace with yourself, the cycle seems to neverend. So I am starting not to be hard on myself and trying to come out from the comparison mentality. I started to take other people's success as inspiration, their way of loving people as inhalation.
These days, When I look in the mirror, I want to have the feeling of self-love, the confidence in my own skin, knowing my worth and not letting other people define me. I tried to use gentle words in my inner dialogues which started to give me serenity. To tell the truth, it's not as easy as I'm quoting. But the best thing is I'm trying at least and maybe I can come out from this sick culture. And that can be seen as progress!
Nowadays, I am sort of becoming lazy with all the aspects which seem to be happening in my life. At least that is what my wife has been saying lately. But coming to the fact, it is probably a pinch to me to get me out of my house. Guess what, she knows her way around lol.
Since, Ramadan has already arrived, it has not been possible for us both to take a tour in any nearby restaurants for Iftar or late night dinner. But the place that I am sharing today does really have a nice environment to spend some time. It is one of our favorite place and I often go out there to taste different types of cuisine. Yep, its a food court that has plenty of stores where various types of cuisines are prepared for the customers. I am not a very big fan of sweets so the dessert corner does not attract me that much. But other stalls, especially Indian foods seems to call me whenever I visit this sort of food courts.
I like the food from here very much, it goes without saying. Also, my wife prefers this place quite a lot. Although, my last experience was not that much wise I would say!
As there is a strict rule of mine which I tend to follow at all times. I do not like wasting food! This is something, which I strictly follow in my every day life. Due to my past experience and other aspects of life, this has become one of those habit which I tend to keep, for the rest of my life.
Nevertheless, one of the reason, why I prefer to visit this place is because of its interior decoration. It gives the vibe of middle eastern aura. Yeah, I have a liking towards that sort of stuffs lol. I mean, middle eastern life style and all. Also the place is not that far from my residence. Almost everything about this food court from it's designs, lamp shades and even the color of the light does suit the environment. Making it quite cozy and a friendly place to visit and have food with family. I have never had Iftar in here before. Will try it out this year! ;)
Food court name : HAAT
BTW have a blessed Ramadan my friends!
"Bro, can you please hack my girlfriend's social media account?"
For the last few months, I have heard this numerous times. First of all, why on earth would you like to spy on your partner? If you have doubts, then clear them directly. Second and most importantly, I don't do this kind of activity, which is not possible in the first place. There is no way you would run a program with the social media username and the account would be hacked; nope, there is none. At least, I haven't heard of any so far in my journey in the Cyber Security field.
“So the frequent news we hear about getting hacked, what are they?”
Yeah, those are due to the negligence of the users and the intelligence of the hacker's mindset. There is a term called 'Social Engineering' in cyber security. 'Linus Tech Tips' was hacked; it was done by stealing session tokens from their browser. How? One of their team members opened an email that contained a PDF regarding sponsorship deals, a trap that compromised the browser and stole all the credentials that let the attacker get in. Yeap, emails are one of the prime methods to set up a trap for you by which the disguised malware would take control of your browser, even your device. Never click or download anything without being sure what the f it is.
An attacker needs loopholes to exploit; just one hole in your empire would make the whole infrastructure vulnerable. For example, a developer created a website with lots of security and functionalities, but there is a File Upload option from where a user can upload files. Out of 100 files upload section, one wasn't sanitised properly, or the attacker knew ways to bypass and uploaded a shell (malicious codes); boom! If it works, then there is an RCE to take over the whole server. There are thousands of functionalities on websites, and you never know how the attack is coming through. Even the most neglected option turns out to be the door to your scariest reality.
Suppose there was no way to upload a PHP shell, so the attacker renamed it to .pdf, and it was accepted, but the file won't be executed; it needs to be in .php to get executed, and no way to bypass and upload a PHP file. But you noticed that the developer hadn't sanitised the rename functionality, so after uploading in .pdf, you renamed the existing file back to .php, the shell was executed, and the damage was done.
So it's always a mistake that takes down the infrastructure. Now whether it's a social media account, a website, or something else, the attacker is always searching for a loophole to exploit, and it's up to the user or developer how critical and aware he can be to get ahead of the thoughts of an attacker to mitigate the threat of being exploited aka hacked.
I want to live a life brimming with meaning and keep wondering how to get there.
Often, I hear the word full and mistake it for busy. I hear the word intention and mistake it for everything I think is expected of me. I hear the word abundance and think I need to figure out a way to impress you with the things I've accumulated as I've gone along.
I forget that none of us is strapped to the hamster wheel of hurry and hustle, despite all the voices shouting, produce! produce! and could actually step off at any time. Exit through the gift shop. Keep heading west with an open heart and empty hands.
I wake to a new day and think about the meaning of this, the making of the meaning of this, the giving of meaning to this day, this life, and myself within it.
I marvel at the act of naming an intention and how it offers some shape. I practise naming what it is I am doing: I am gathering myself, I am asking, I am wrestling, I am trying to make sense, I am trying to make something that means something; maybe art, maybe dinner, I am trying to get through without only feeling like I am passing time.
I greet The Dream, which chatters at me when I am busy doing other things, life things
.
I greet The Dream's ragtag companions: hello Fear, hello Longing, hello Muddling, hello Trying, hello Ache.
I greet the things I love and the things that love me back, I greet the things I would love to love.
I greet the things I have set down and the things I am trying to set down.
I greet my worries and my worry's worry. I greet my hope, the bold kind and the delicate kind.
I wonder if a whole life spent saying hello and making a spot at the table for each of these things - a ruckus of a dinner, depending on the seating chart.
I make meaning out of the strangeness of being alive, with all its accidental miracles and incomprehensible sadnesses. It's random or slightly random or not random at all the happenings that have brought us here at this time. I make meaning out of this time spent living, and if that is the only meaning there is, it is enough.
Cinematic parallelism often amuses me and often that delight is ephemeral. Most of the time filmmakers use them to pay homage to the predecessor. However once in a while, such parallelism in visual storytelling does provide intriguing similarities or contrast. I was watching Tár yesterday and suddenly one frame caught my attention and reminded me of a short film, Blue (2018), quite unknown to many (although the filmmaker is a well-known artist).
In Apichatpong Weerasethakul’s Blue, there’s a woman on a bed, the fire rising from her is a formidable one. Yet she is fast asleep, nothing perturbed her. Everything is under her control. Whatever the fire represents metaphorically, it cannot destroy her peace.
In Todd Field’s Tár, a much-talked-about film from 2022 (A great one at that, and should have gotten Ooscar instead of that popcorn flick), the fire is the indicator of finalization of chaos in the protagonist’s life, the completeness of futility of her resistance against cancel culture. This manifestation of fire, albeit not as great as Blue, is enough to burn the protagonist utterly.
Such a beautiful cinematic contrast while resorting to visual parallelism.
