Monday, April 3rd, 2023সোমবার, ২০শে চৈত্র, ১৪২৯ বঙ্গাব্দ
We all like to do a lot of things, we day dream, and we ‘zone out’ and often don’t do any of those things.
“Dive in the Great Barrier Reef; ride the Orient Express; live on the Amalfi Coast with nothing but a motorcycle and a backpack; kiss a stranger on the balcony of the Hotel Du Cap.”.......as Roy Miller played by Tom Cruise said in the movie Knight and Day.
There are some things in life worth waiting for - a trip to a sunny beach, a cold drink on a hot summer weekend day, and of course the elusive century. I grew up in India. Cricket is the only religion I cared for when growing up. I understood what the allure of 100 was. It is way more than a number. I used to bat lower down the order at number 7 and used to do leg-spin googly bowling. I have played through the college, semi-professionally even. It means, I even got paid once in a while, back in those days well before T20 was invented. So I know what century is. I have never done one in cricket. I wasn’t much of a batsman, and batting lower down the order back in those days, typically didn’t get me too much of an opportunity to score a 100. I never did one. But I did do a 99 once. Only once! Nah, I am not going to talk about it…
As a kid, I daydreamed a lot as every other kid of my age. I will do this and that. Never made much of a difference. When I talked about those things with my close friends, it never made much of a difference to them either. But after that 99, as I was getting yorked, time runs slow you know during those events; as I felt the ball sliding under my bat, even before I heard the sound that will surely come, I made a call to myself. I am not going to let some of those daydreams pass. At the time, Mackenna's Gold was a favorite movie of mine. I have always loved westerns. I thought ‘someday’ I will visit that place, that Canyon. That spire whose shadow dropped into the entrance of the Canyon of Gold at sunrise. Yes, I have visited Spider Rock, Canyon de Chelly, Arizona in real life. I have done many things I daydreamed about as a kid, as a young adult. I will do many other things that I want to do.
I also realized as an old man now, that getting out at 99 once was rather important. It was not just a number, it was much more than that for me. It was not a failure, but rather a life-changing success. I hope each of you finds your own successes from something rather unimportant.
-- Editor.
It surprises me when I notice the differences between my childhood times and my niece who's almost 13 now.
The life of a soon-to-be teenager is very complicated these days. You remember the phrase "the resemblance is uncanny" and this what I see is a complete 180 degree. From their studies to social activities and norms to their behavior and thinking patterns to their group dynamic, all of them are so different from how and what I used to do when I was a teenager. Sometimes I feel grateful that kids are growing up informative and other times I feel so despondent thinking why couldn't they be oblivious or why they aren't a certain way. And these thoughts retreat back into my mind as soon as I realize that I can't mold people or kids into being how I want them to be.
I don't remember half of what I have learned in school, but I vaguely remember the syllabus. What they study is completely different from what we did - we had a rather extensive material; exhaustively lengthy. But the kids nowadays don't - their study materials aren't too long but the variety is shocking. Once I picked up my niece's last year's history book, I was surprised to see that the books contain history about the Mayans, Inca, and Spanish inquisition. And then recently I picked up her math book and the materials they're covering now are something we've learned way earlier than their age. I think I'd compare it to quality over quantity and not that our study materials were of less quality but the comparison is like a grocery shop versus a super shop but still makes me a bit doubtful.
Also, I noticed that kids these days are too attached to technology - their cell phones and laptops or desktop. Up until I was a teenager, I had the afternoons reserved as the time to play with other kids till sundown. We had a big group and we used to play all sorts of games, even football, and cricket. Now I barely know who's living in the building opposite my house. Other than riding her bicycle with 3 or 4 kids in the neighborhood, my niece doesn't have any friends in the area, though her school is a different story. I didn't have a mobile until I was 14 years old and that phone was only equipped to make calls and texts with no internet and that phone was my mother's. The first time I chatted with someone on the internet was back in 2005 - a little late but the internet wasn't a day-to-day commodity around that time. And around that time and in the subsequent years, it became increasingly popular and our network providers were also trying to provide the internet with cell services. And now we have way too many internet providers around us trying to supply us with connections that are good as well as affordable.
Things have changed so much from early 2000 to now it's astonishing. Along with all study, playtime, or attachments to technology, I see that kids behave differently than how we used to. During my school years the most popular students were usually the toppers of the class, the higher you were in ranks in terms of academics the more popular you were. That's certainly not the scenario now. Yes, academic achievements do shed kids under a certain spotlight but I don't understand how they measure popularity. It's based on how many friends you have or how popular your friends are or how many others know you or follow your Instagram and Tiktok. Popularity wasn't really much of a headache before. What's also surprising is the drama; gosh the drama they create and the drama they face could certainly make up a TV series or pageant shows too.
All of these have made me realize that if things have changed so drastically now, what will happen when these kids become parents? If it feels like a nightmare now it won't be any easier in the future either.
Only time will tell.
After having a hectic working day, I yield up in my favourite place (my bed obviously) and start scrolling social media with a drowsy face. After a while, a status from my university friend catches me up.
Call yourself tolerant when people can at least EAT/DRINK comfortably around you. (not everyone is entitled to/willing to fast). Else, just don't wear the crown.
This status struck me for a while. Well, before saying something, I wanted you to know we don't share the same religion. But will something change that much if she is from a Muslim family too? Cause, to be honest, I've gone through the same situation in my childhood and the scenario is the same for most of us, especially girls. We, the women, can't fast the whole month for a certain amount of time.
Menstruation is common to all. Still, in Ramadan, the women around us don’t feel comfortable taking their meals while men are around. Speaking of myself, I don’t even feel easy eating something outside around those seven days, can't even carry water bottles while I'm travelling to university, on public transport or at Eid shopping, because I am not willing to face judgmental looks from others.
Even this culture is common inside our family too. I've encountered many newly married women who tend to wake up in Sehri even on their period. And don't want to go through with the other religion.
We only face this for seven days, but people like that friend of mine suffer for the whole month.
Another thing which I've to tolerate in my student life is the scarcity of food in university dorms. Back then, the canteen meal was only available for Iftar and dinner. Those among us don’t fast because they practice a different religion, had to make their own food, or had to depend on the packet of bread or biscuit from the store.
I don't know what happens in other countries, but this shouldn't be the scenario. Ramadan is the month of peace where every year we, the Muslim practice the notion of gratitude, endurance, and restraint for Allah. We try to be patient and build empathy for others this month. And we also persuade ourselves to learn how to sacrifice and fill our hearts with love for others.
Unfortunately, all of us don’t feel the same way. A collective prejudice hovers above our society, and because of this, we failed to ensure the comfort zone for others, while also failing to develop tolerance and an open-minded mentality towards them.
So let's try and think about these issues and make a better place for all of us, where at least people can feel comfortable around us. Happy Ramadan!
We were told that the world is a cold, hard place - the world will chew us up for supper. The world doesn't have the time for this. The world is a machine and we are the cog. The world is a race and we are already late to the starting line. We were told the world is something to endure.
It starts with a great undoing. The unlocking of doors. The untying of knots - knots around doctrine and dogma. Knots on our shoulders, the place where we carry it all. They start to say things like maybe she's coming unhinged and we know we're onto something. It was the unlearning of the premise: we were raised to believe that we are lost.
It asked us to open. So we did, like the lid off a jam jar. Like a window of a glass house. Then we started to spill: we are petals tumbling off the peony. We are summer rain crashing down. We are ribbon unspooling down the staircase, racing our sister. We are the glance between two almost-lovers about to speak.
The world is full of softness, and we have proof: we are told that the way to survive is to bristle and stone ourselves against the cruelties and disappointments; we are told to avert our eyes, to stay in our lane. Instead, we put flowers in our hair and cry on behalf of strangers and give each other nicknames and we ask again for more and make food for friends who are grieving and write notes on the mirror in the morning and plant seeds right before the ground freezes in audacious hope that Spring will come again.
Last night had been a wild wild ride for me, in regards to consuming some well-edited and problematic forms of video content on, well you guessed it, YouTube.
Now, I know what I will talk about will undoubtedly raise some questioning eyebrows and eye-rolls from both my peers, and others who might take a glance at this written piece, but as the saying goes: “sometimes, you just gotta let it out, man!!”
So here I am, at an odd hour of the night, writing away about why I think modern feminism just really, really sucks.
Yes. Right there. I’ve said it! Boom!
Honestly, at this point I really do not know why this is anything that should even be debated, as now, this concept is so f*cking morphed and modified that women (and men; I see you bois!) out there can’t bring out the courage to define what womanhood is. Apparently, the definition of women is anything that a woman wants it to be, and which, by the way, is not limited to only those who have the biological female gender. This basically indicates that, now, the whole concept of being a woman, and feminism as a whole is as fluid as the water, where there is free reign for anyone who deems change is needed.
Don’t get me wrong now. I am all for change here! I am a pro-abortionist up to a certain point and all for women's rights. But there is a line between wanting equality for women and then going on to radicalize everything about men and women both in society, that I do not like to cross.
It’s a universal truth that women and men cannot be equal. I’m talking about biological and physical aspects here. We are built differently, and we have different roles. And yes, because of this, women throughout history have been terribly, terribly discriminated against and dominated. Women were once not allowed to read as we all know very very well! They didn’t have the right to vote and many other such disparities they were subjected too! These were exactly the reasons that the older feminists fought for their rights.
But now, in the glorious 2023, the whole concept of feminism is suddenly about being a badass b*itch. We see influencers preaching for women to be bold, to be bad and to be reckless, which would’ve been fine if it were for fighting for their rights and careers but sadly, now it’s just all about getting laid. It’s almost laughable to see how uneducated and unintellectual the women of this age are than those of the late eighties or nineties, and honestly just sends me into despair seeing what we have become.
I’d give anything to get back the real bad b#ches of feminists, that rallied against patriarchy, and were more knowledgable than most males, who bore a mind that was sharp as razors and a mouth as cold as ice. At this point, anything over these ungrateful, entitled bubblegum-popping idiots who only know how to look pretty in front of the camera, and finding the best ways to bad mouth each other would be good enough. Women of this generation are not out to look after one another. As a woman myself, I think I am capable enough to testify to that. The over-the-top trashing, the laughable manipulation and the good old victim cards are just a few of the tools most of us use on the daily basis, and as we are the so-called bad b#tches of society, we are proud of them too.
It’s a god-awful parody, compared to what we once were, and what we once stood for.
This weeks Turni is presented by @rafa-noor, @riz611 and @drivingindevon.
