We have all had toxic people around us, who will always dust us with their Venum and we bend ourselves like a bending wire to please them, only to never get there. They can make you question your over-reactiveness or oversensitivity, if you're the type that adjusts your behavior to avoid being hurt or you are the type that gets hurt, the first step to avoid being hurt is to spot their harmful behavior, this will help to minimize their influence. You might not be able to change their actions but you can change what you do with them.
I'm going to state down some of the toxic behavior they do to manipulate people's catastrophes to their advantage, this will help to avoid falling into their influence if you know them.
They'll keep you guessing about the version of them
Some days, they'll be lovely, while some other days, you'll be wondering what you've done to annoy them, you won't see anything obvious that causes the change of attitude all you know is that something is not right. They'll look sad, cold, and at times temperamental and when you try to ask them what's wrong, their response will be "nothing", but their actions will give you enough reason to know that something is wrong. When this happens, you find yourself doing everything to make them feel happy. But when you continue this, it will keep on working for them.
If you make attempt to please them and it's not working, stop trying to please them,because these people have figured out that you can go any lengths to make people you care about feel happy. All you need to do is to walk away when they are feeling upset and come back when their mood has shifted. You should not make yourself to be responsible for anyone's feelings, you shouldn't have to guess , if you have done something unknowingly to hurt people, ask so you can talk about it, in case there's any need to apologize.
They'll manipulate
Toxic people have a way of stimulating their vibe that you owe them something, you're right if you think you are the only one contributing to the relationship. Toxic people have a way of taking away from you and doing something that will hurt you in any way, " I'm having a dinner party tonight, why don't you bring more dinner for 10 If you care for me?" You might feel hurt with those words but you don't owe anybody anything. If you feel like doing it you do them, don't allow toxic people to manipulate you with their actions.
They'll never apologize
They'll twist the story to change the way it happens and retell it convincingly so that they will believe their own insanity, they will lie before they'll apologize. There is no need of arguing with that kind of people, why apologizing to be wrong?
You have to move forward without them, you don't need any apology from them. Though that does mean you should surrender your truth but don't keep the arguments going. Look for better things to do rather than procuring silage for the right - fighters.
They'll be there for you during a crisis, but they'll never want to share in your joy
Toxic people will always find thousands of reasons to make your good news not to be great news, this is the scenario; going for a holiday in the beach " is going to be very hot over there, are sure you want to go?". Making you the Queen of the Universe " well, the universe is not that big, you know I'm pretty sure you won't get tea breaks", I hope you are getting the idea?
Don't allow them to shrink you down to their size, you don't in any way need their approval.
They are judgemental
Know one is perfect, but we are always working toward perfection, sometimes we might get it wrong but toxic people will look for a way to make sure you know what about your mistakes, they'll take a taunt at your self-esteem, inferring that you're less than because you made a mistake. We all get it wrong in any way, but toxic people will always be judgemental only when we've done something that will affect them.
Conclusion:
You have a better chance of catching yourself before you bond yourself in duplicate snarls trying to please them If you know the characteristics sign of toxic people.
Some people are not just good for you and are not possible for you to please everyone, try to say no to unnecessary crazy, be convinced with your fault and the things that will make you shine without anyone's approval to avoid being altered. You don't always need to give it all but if you do, don't let the cost be too high.
Thank for your time.
