There's a hidden dragon inside me, it's in the underground. I don't let it come outward. You can guess why? Yes, it waits to burn the whole world, inside and out. I can feel the warmth, I sometimes can see the fire. I have to feed the dragon and let it come to terms because I don't have any pullback.
It's an agony to hide it from the outside world. I wish I could let it go...
All this turned on from the very beginning. When I came to understand myself, I noticed I'm a revenger. I never let anyone go without paying, without harming me. I make them pay actively or passively, mostly passively. This is so subtle in me, people usually don't notice this evil inside me.
The nature of humans is, to make others feel the way we feel. I take this too literally. I usually don't set the fire but lit the blue flame everywhere. Sometimes it burns a relationship, sometimes the other's heart, it radiates me inside so bad, I can feel the twilight in me.
I wish I could let the dragon fly and never let it succeed. But I know how trivial I'm, it will come, take over me, and will continue to ruin me. I find it more convenient to let it settle inside and keep it safe there. It's better to let it go rather than keeping it hidden.
But I know, the pain to hide it.
I plot to let others fall into traps in my head. Usually, I don't execute the plan but feel good inside to imagine the whole thing. I think the evil things about others. I let them suffer in my dreams. But all this makes my heart shady inside. I feel the distress.
However, the more I'm aging the better I understand that the truth is there's no joy in becoming the purpose of others' pain.
But the imagined dragon will be there...it will continue to burn me inside and out.
