Sacks of rice were stood and lined up on the floor in front of all of us as I hosted my meeting with the tenants in our sala. After going through my agenda, I asked if they have questions or feedback. All were quiet so I greeted them for the upcoming holidays and told them to take one sack of rice each as my giveaway. I was expecting them to stand up, pick their sack and go but no one moved. A few were just smiling. Then someone spoke up.
"Isn't there anything more?"
He meant "just rice?"
I was not expecting the question and what came out of my mouth was "sorry, that is all that was budgeted."
"Well, there are amti anywhere." He replied. That was a quip.
Amti is an indigenous vegetable that just grow anywhere, at least in the Cordilleras where I see many of them.
"Of course, yes! There are amti around. I had several instances of harvesting from my plant pots on the terrace." I replied. It was true. They grow like weeds all over.
The others laughed. The guy continued.
"It would have been better if these come with something for viand."
"Wow, he is pushing with his bullying. The nerve!" I thought. Still, what came out of my mouth was to apologize again.
I have this style that when someone asks for gift from me, it is the more that I do not give anything at all. Gifts are given, not asked. I wished I can do so in that moment.
After they left, I felt frustrated with myself. How come my mind did not work smart at the spun of the moment? First of all, I do not like apologizing for something that is not my fault. I am not obliged to give them Christmas giveaways. Why should I apologize if it is not enough for them? Second, I am avoiding undermining myself with any thought that "I am not enough," "I was not good enough because I provided not enough," or anything of such negativity. I know I am a good person with good intention. Now here comes this human creature who does not have enough and expects others to provide "completely" for him?
I replayed the scenario in my head and thought of what could have been a smarter way to handle it.
So how should one reply to such bullying when people try to take from you more than necessary? Following are what came to mind which I would try to keep in mind for next time. I would love to see other suggestions in the comment section.
"This is exchange of gifts. So, I also get my gift from you?"
"I love what I am giving so I can keep it if you don't like it or if you're not satisfied."
"I actually thought of not giving this at all because I don't have to but I love you so I am sharing what I can."
"Well, you're not invalid so you can certainly put in your share."
The above statements may come in strong so one should be cafeful with the tone. Keep it at cheerful and possibly joking level so you don't give yourself away of letting them know they got into your skin.
Keep im mind: do not let others make you undermine yourself. Keep the good intention up.