Waking up everyday with little but very heavy thought makes me very weak. My mind is like a storm that i wish in can overcome or control with a remote on how i feel. A lot of memories and experience reflect ibn my mind and i don't understand how the negative aspect tend to overshadow my positive experience, sometimes i wonder is this why we were created, to experience pain and endure it till the end.
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If only my parent could know what is going on through my mind they would have pity me in so many way. Life itself is so painful especially in this my generation that everyone tend to strive for their greedy earning and personal self's. It is hard for a person to think of another person the way we thing about them. We were never trained to experience how Creul this real life world is, sometimes i say to myself if this was really worth it, all the pain all the stress all the struggle. A lot of us out there have been dead for long just waiting for the day we will all close our eyes and say bye to this world.
Growing up from a very low average family tend to come with so much pain and struggles. Life doesn't work in our favor because our parents didn't takes those risk then to achive what was necessarily to be done. If only i cant twist time before i was born till date.
One main experience that broke me the moment was a lady that i thought i will spend the rest of my life with but unfortunately she didn't see a future or a bigger me in it. This was the beginning of my fall and transformation, this experience changed my mindset. Some nights I struggled to sleep but never for once did I cry because I understood we were all aiming for a bigger and brighter future, but my heart really craves for that emotions and feelings so I just use this to work out. She told me then that she had lost feeling for me that she should have been patient enough before rushing into the relationship, words that were very deep that even made me question my existence, but I understand a lady that has lost feelings and respect for a guy tends to say things anyhow like they don't care.
This experience made me sat down to research about so many great rich billionaires and their lifestyle and I wonder how they were able to struggle and overcome this phase of life i am experiencing now. Its not easy as everyone thinks it is, people will come and encourage you to keep moving and pushing it forward not understanding that it takes discipline and full focus. I lost myself in so many experience that i wonder if i could ever be found again later or anytime but the truth is we were born to stand on our own, nobody gets you except yourself, so we must learn to stand strong and abled.
