These were the thoughts running through my mind when about 80% of everything in my week seemed to work against me. I had been overlooking a lot of things, trying to stay positive until Friday became too overwhelming. This is because I received two messages that completely broke me. I really felt like crying so I tried to cry, but somehow the tears refused to be enough to roll down my cheeks.
I then remembered this song by Don Williams, "Lord, I Hope This Day Is Good". It was perfect for my mood and I hoped it would make me cry. So I played it on repeat and sang along. But still, no tears. It was oddly funny to me, because the Phyna I used to be would cry at the slightest emotional wave.
It however occurred to me that I may have forgotten how to cry over things like this. Things like disappointment, stress, unfulfilled dreams, and exhaustion.
Since I couldn't cry I decided instead to look for something that could lift my mood. The weekend was just a few hours away, but I wasn’t feeling any of its vibes. In the process I came across “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin.
It’s an old acapella track from the late 80s, but to me, it’s still one of the best I’ve ever heard. The way this man uses just his voice to create both melody and rhythm is unique. Add to that the comedic video, and before I knew it, I was smiling. A sad me… smiling.
The lyrics are simple and straightforward;
“Here's a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry
Be happy
In every life we have some trouble
But when you worry you make it double
Don't worry
Be happy".
I thought to myself: In a country like mine, with its hard economy, unstable leadership, and general air of frustration, maybe the only way to survive is to worry less.
So here are the few things that made me sad...
In my current industrial training, where we’re just two students working like full-time staff because the actual workers resigned, I’ve been trying to keep a positive mindset. The lady in charge treats us more like employees than students—on training, and while I’ve been enduring it, this past week was harder because my colleague fell ill, and I had to do everything alone.
The second is the email from the editor I sent my book to. She rejected my book because it was written in third person. I understand that everyone has preferences, but still… my hope was high for something positive.
There are many others that are not really significant, such as the pressure of being broke. I do hear people say they're used to it but I don't want to ever get used to it. The feeling is very uncomfortable and depressing. I prefer to live on a low budget than be completely broke.
Listen here
It's been a really long time I felt overwhelmed by things not working out. So it was easy to look back and be grateful for all the things that I've achieved so far.
This song in particular reminded me to breathe. It reminded me that not everything is in my control, and that’s very okay.
So I danced to Bobby McFerrin and remembered that joy still exists in the little things. No gain in staying worried as it won’t fix anything. But it’s also okay to feel that way because it is feelings that makes us human.
So my plan for the weekend was (and is still)simple:
To be happy. To worry less. Because I truly believe that with time, everything will be okay.
I hope you do the same, friends.
Thank you for reading, and wishing you a joyful weekend💝.
Image is mine.