There's a recurring theme that has haunted me at times throughout my life:
Am I enough?
It's a fair question. We are regularly measured against the inherent and achieved skills and abilities of others. Parents compare our growth and aptitude to other children. Gatekeepers in life measure us against standards. We attend centers of learning, where passing grades should be just that, but the ability to advance and achieve goes far beyond. We may not be told that it takes perfection to be allowed to walk through doors and into the light, but it soon becomes painfully clear.
Measuring up can become our credo. We fake it until we make it, hoping no one tears our disguise away. The truth is, we all wear masks at times. All strive for better and more, and not just to "get over". We want to know our limits, and how far we can push them. That is an element of character. But, without courage by our sides, it can be a gut-wrenching ride.
Many of the students I mentor are beautiful souls trying to find themselves and what they can achieve. Part of my goal is to instill humble confidence at whatever level they can own it. I will not grab their hand and lead, nor will I push from behind. But if they teeter, there are people like myself alongside that they can lean on. Collect themselves. Understand the life lessons they were exposed to, so that they can know themselves and why they are enough with the gifts they have and can recognize what the next level of enough can be.
The three songs I've picked for this week reflect the different ways we struggle with enough.
The first one is Superman, from Five For Fighting. It details the hypothetical inner demons of the popular super hero:
"Even heroes have the right to dream
And it's not easy to be me"
We see images of super heroes all around us. They also battle fears, doubts, and all the other emotions we do. For a million reasons, they have overcome them to achieve that public status. Inside, they are just as human as us. In need of love, care and support from those who are genuine.
My second song is and ode to someone who doesn't realize that they are all the other person will ever want in life:
"All the promises we make
When all I want is you"
I've had people like this in my life. They seem to think that they hold value in my life for what they can provide or inspire. I let them know that all that could disappear, and I would still love them. Want them around to journey through life with.
The last song speaks to letting someone know that their inspiration is the greatest give in their lives. That them just existing, being themselves, is the enough that gives you the courage to soar. That they are, as Bette Midler sang, The Wings Beneath My Wings:
"Did I ever tell you you're my hero
You're everything I wish I could be"
I've spoken to so many people who speak glowingly about friends, relatives and others who have affected their life journey in numerous ways. When I ask if they've ever told those people that, or simply reached out to see how they are, the answer is no. There are often blank stares when I ask when they last spoke to them.
It only takes a moment, and means a lot. Text is easy. Speaking is endearingly meaningful. And writing a letter? I've seen people cry over them, knowing that in this day and age, someone took the time to write. On paper!
It can be the most precious gift you can give. And, it can affirm that, to someone else, you are more that enough to them, and they to you.