Comedian: So...The other day, I was at a party, I start hooking up with a girl.
She is looking fine and all, and suddenly we start making out, I see where this is going.
Then she asks me if I am cool with it. I am like "cool with what?".
And then he tells me "I am a trans".
(crowd dead silent)
Comedian: You know what's a tranny? It's a woman with a dick. I was making out with a woman with a dick...
(Silence intensifies)
Comedian: Why you guys are dead silent? Jeez this audience is as dead as on the 13th of November (makes reference to the Paris attacks at the Bataclan where armed terrorist opened fire on the crowd).
Crowd: Fuck you! Get out.
(Comedian walks off stage)
So, this was the atmosphere at 11pm on a Friday night, just before I get on stage. I could hear how bad he was doing from the "artist room" backstage, which constists of a tiny mirror, and jam packed props, bags, curtains.
I brought my own bottle of water. I smoked a spliff at least an hour ago and it starts wearing off, but now I don't have the time to roll another one because this bum of a comedian is going to be crucified on stage, so I am getting ready to go.
This is when that small internal voice sink in, asking "why in hell did I decide to do a gig in Paris anyway?".
I just drove 800km (400 miles roughly) the day before, and I am leaving tomorrow. The crowd is a mix of a few friends, and family I haven't seen for ages, roughly 9 people.
The rest if the crowd isn't mine. They're here to watch acts before me, and after. I am just a mere transition from one act to the next. I have 45 minutes to convince myself that I am a great singer, If I can convince myself, I can convince them. I am still focused though, I made sure I was ready for this gig, I know my set, I didn't touch a beer for the last 2 weeks, just to make sure that my voice would be on point.
The day before my sister asked "Are you a part of a cult or something?", as if not wanting to drink is something almost unnatural.
(Feedback sound)
I start the song, but I thank the 9 people that came to see me, thank them for being patient wih me, I also sound apologetic for having witnessed this dreadful comedian with his shitty tranny joke.
L'Etage, the place I am playing, have survived the last 15 years. Which is more than most establishments can say in Paris. They survived the pandemic, they survived a change in ownership, and now they'll survive the next horror coming their way.
It's true that appart from the sojamsession organized every Friday nights, the rest of the week, it's a lot of trannies and drag queen shows. That's something I am not familiar with anymore, I was used to it 15 years ago when performing in Paris, because this is the capital of those sort of things, so I became desensetized,
I am being told by the event organizer that "it's everywhere now, and that's what the audience wants. Drag Queen shows."
I shrug.
"You see, they don't have kids, so they just party all week, normally we can fill up 300 people in here, this is madness."
I can imagine the madness. Anyway, during the intro of my song, all I can think about is the tranny joke, the fact that nobody announced me on stage, that I haven't peformed at this place for 15 years, and that after spending gazillion in promotion, only 9 of my people came for me, and that music cannot fill up places anymore.
Lucky for me that night, a Nigerian singer called Chidi EP and his crew started really getting my songs, and reversed the mood by motivating the crowd. I am thankful to him, I am probably lucky that he was playing after me, he was probably so hyped up to go on stage.
He also did great, we both did. We were probably the best acts that night, I am of course not being humble, but I guess, just let me have this one.
I tell the event organizer that he can keep the change, and refused the money he wanted to give me. The deal was for me to bring 20 people at least, which I didn't.
I still had a good time though. It was great to go back to Paris, and I am glad I wasn't that comedian.
Have you ever seen someone bombing on stage before?
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